Catf1sh finishes up his top 25 today and I’ma let him finish, but I’m just gonna go ahead and make it a music Friday and hit you with some joints too.  First, Big Sean just dropped the new mixtape.  Get that joint HERE.  Second, as the always surprising Ian Summers said, the new C-Lo is great.  Check out “F*ck You”

There is an official video now, but that all text joint was pretty hot too.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  Lake is rumored to be rolling through for the weekend.  Tweets from the streets may be imminent.  Keep an eye on your twitter feed for the return of Brick and Mr. Loose on the Goose himself, Lake Arlington.

I’ll let Catf1sh take it from here.

-Brock

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5. L.T.D. – “Love Ballad”

This is the song you play before you get down on one knee to propose to a chick. This isn’t for courthouse marriages. This is that real deal, we were meant to be together type steez right here. Jeffrey Osborne could sing the panties off of Rosie O’Donnell, and she doesn’t even like men. Dude’s voice just gets the job done.

(Brock’s note -- I almost thought this was about to be “LSG” Levert, Keith Sweat, and Johnny Gill.  Turrible.  Although I did rock “My Body” all the way through before I moved on.  I also spent five minutes saying…Levert…Tyrese…aaaaaaand who the hell is the “D”?)

4. Joe Budden – “Pray For Me”

This song is for anybody who’s ever questioned the ills of the world. Joe Budden, for about 5 minutes, has a debate/argument/conversation with God about why are things the way they are. This is another one of those records that instantly made me a fan of the artist, with just how much thought and lyrical ability it must have taken to pull a record like this off.

3. Dolla – “Closer To My Dreams”

This is five minutes into the head of a young male who truly doesn’t give a fuck about much in life. His sort of brashness and just “I do what I do when I do it how I do it” attitude gives this song genuine appeal that comes across in his flow and word choice. It’s a shame that he was gunned down in a senseless act of violence and the world was deprived of future music in this vein.

2. Aaliyah – “Come Over”

This song is about wanting to be with that special someone. Wanting to see them at pretty much any time throughout the night. I know I’ve felt this way before. Sometimes you never know what you have until it’s gone.

1. Freddie Gibbs & Devin The Dude – “Stray”

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about hoes, bitches, boppers, hoody hoos, jumpoffs, bussdowns, and others of that ilk. HNH, or Hoes Nigga Hoes, is my life’s motto.  And this song is the unquestionable HNH anthem. Freddie speaks about hoes in a matter that is so clear and concise a monk could understand. I’m sure all of the females won’t be happy with this song choice being #1, but just remember, he’s not rapping about you unless you think he is.  Yeah.

-Catf1sh

If you liked this, check more of Catf1sh at http://carlwinslowshairline.blogspot.com/

College Football is finally starting and I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to watch some damn football.  Alabama this, Florida that, Ohio State is probably good for winning the Big 10 and losing a national championship game again (Where the hell is OSUWill?  Remember him?)  But the best story in the nation is Ole Miss.  First, they are running a certified giant at O-Line.

That kid goes 6-11, 415.  For reference, Shaq is 7-1, 325 other than those Lakers offseasons when he used to get up to 350.  I know bigger is generally better on the O-Line, but walking around at 415 can’t be good for anyone.  I have to assume he’s a legit athlete, but I don’t think he’s wearing pads right now so he’s got a slight D-Cup J situation going down right now.  That’s not sexy.

On the other hand they are trying to get the QB that Oregon let go after he jacked a laptop and a TV to transfer straight in and play this year.

I love how the coach is stepping in with all the technicalities and curriculum analysis like he’s really worried about the dude’s educational future.  Talking about pursuing a graduate degree at Ole Miss that he couldn’t get at Oregon.  Let’s see, Ole Miss?  Is he getting his graduate degree in Pig wranglin’, liquor runnin, or Nascar watchin?  I’ll tell you what I do like about Masoli’s plan though…

I like how the number one rule in the “rehab your image” handbook is still “get a got damn haircut”.  That always works, right?  Come on Ole Miss, we all know you just want this kind on the field because he was supposed to be a Heisman candidate in Oregon before he messed up.  We all know Ole Miss hasn’t been any good since Eli Manning left, hell, since Archie Manning left.  The NCAA doesn’t let anyone get away with this kind of B.S.  If Masoli gets away with this, every dude who gets cut for discipline reasons will find some random school with a unique major so they can try to transfer in and play.

Someone tell Ole Miss they play in the SEC and none of this is gonna matter anyway.  But I guess you’ve gotta try.  They can still beat Vandy, right?

-Brock

The homey Catf1sh kilt it last week with the first music drop and he’s back with Part 2, tracks 15-6.  The Top 5 is gonna hit on Friday.  Keep an eye out for the hot Tribe Called Quest reference and he ain’t never lied about that Drake & Lloyd.  Follow that that dude if you aren’t already.  www.twitter.com/catf1sh.

-Brock

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15. Prince – “Somewhere Here On Earth”

This is more mood music, as sometimes I just envision that my soulmate is out there longing for me like I do for her. Waiting for the day our fates will become intertwined and how we will live happily ever after. And being willing to wait for that day to occur. Someone that makes you smile, that you can envision growing old with.  And since this isn’t Twitter, I can’t be hit with a #LonelyTweet after all of this.  So yeah.

14. Slim Thug – “Move Somethin”

Slim Thug’s take on Industry Rule #4080. Dude basically brings up all the classic points about being self sufficient before entering the music industry, creating your fanbase and identity before going major, and not putting all your eggs in the music basket. But his commanding voice just takes it over the edge of other similar songs.

13. Drake & Lloyd – “A Night Off”

Hate on Drake all you want, but dude definitely knows how to expression certain emotions that others can’t. Just the way he has with his words on this record is absolutely amazing.  It’s like the bare necessities shine bright on here, and Lloyd brings it home with a killer 2^nd verse. If you’re alone with a chick, this record comes on, and you can’t smack, you should be allowed to cup-check your father. Because clearly he failed when raising you.

12. Craig David – “Last Night”

A unique take from Mr. David about meeting a lovely lady while out and about on the town. I’ve definitely been there before with meeting a chick and just being hypnotized by her aura and presence. This easy breezy joint could’ve been a radio smash if his record company had any competence whatsoever, but that’s neither here nor there.

11. Paul Wall & Chamillionaire – “N Luv Wit My Money”

This song is the epitome of “ballin’ rap”. This is that flossy, bling bling, “I have more money than you because it is all that I care about and all that I will ever care about” music right here. We ball 24/7, all that we know.

10. J. Holiday – “Suffocate”

Song about being truly in love, not lust, with an individual and being rendered helpless without them. This might be the sappiest, simpin-est love song ever, but it never comes across that way. It comes across as truly genuine and that’s the appeal that I love about it. I would totally be fine with this being the first song at my wedding.

9. Royce Da 5’9” – “The Return of Malcolm”

I’ve included this because I had to include one Royce record. It was a necessity. Dude is a master at rapping better than anyone else on a record. He’s basically the black Eminem. Or is Eminem the white Royce? Whatever. Either way, he absolutely destroys this record to the point where you forget this was originally a Young Jeezy song.  That’s what good rappers do.

8. Plies – “Somebody (Loves You)”

This is one of those heart wrenching, deep, introspective records from maybe the least likely source on the surface. If you’ve ever heard a plies interview, dude is incredibly intelligent and this comes across on this record. He’s very aware of life’s ups and downs and is able to verbalize these thoughts perfectly on this record.

7. Talib Kweli & Bilal – “Talk To You (Lil Darlin)”

The opening spoken word style verse from Kweli is truly poetic. This is the kind of shit that you put in a love letter when you’re in 8^th grade and give it to a girl with “Will you go out with me? Yes or No” written on it. Or the kind of thing you sing to your wife when you’re renewing wedding vows. Bilal brings it home like only he can. Truly beautiful song.

6. T.I. – “Freak Though”

This is a love song for the non-wholesome female who has made a couple mistakes in life. Who hasn’t? T.I. is willing to overlook these just as long as the female helps him become the best man he can be. If Tiny inspired Tip to make records like these, I’m glad they got married recently.

-Catf1sh

Kanye West is ramping back up again.  For the last two years all we’ve had is Love Lockdown, Kanye rolling up on Taylor Swift and bringing a chick from stripper to household name.  But with this being the fifth Anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina disaster, we are coming up on another fifth anniversary.  The fifth anniversary of this:

I want to do a throwback UvT post just to put that whole clip in the lab.  I think that whole first part was one long sentence.  “And the black people they are there and the Red Cross is helping but they are fighting another war an an and they’ve given them permission to shoot us.”  Then watch him while Mike Meyers is talking.  He looks like he is either about to pass out, cry, completely lose his shit.  But that “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people” still drops in like a bomb even five years later.  I think Kanye probably guaranteed that Mike Meyers didn’t care about black people or want to be around black people anymore after that.

Then there is Kanye and his relationship with fashion.  Now we all know he can pull this off.

But then he starts to get so high on his fashion, he thinks he’s so far ahead, so tight with his fashion game that he can pull this off:

Don’t get me wrong.  I like fashion.  There is one rule that Team Us always needs to follow if you don’t want to get cut from the squad.  If you want to go for one “extra” piece make sure everything else is under control.  Wanna try out your new shiny, sparkly jacket, maybe rock it with a regular pair of jeans.  If you are going to wear your driving gloves with no car in sight…maybe rock it with a t-shirt the first couple of times.  If you want to go for a shagblackmullet…that’s cool as long as you…who am I kidding?  That shit was never going to be cool.

Or this:

Yes, that is a cumberbund, chest hair combo he’s rocking right there and he’s rocking the always controversial “open tuck” shirt configuration.  One of my boys actually tried to rock that one time like it was going to be hot, he was wrong and was immediately ridiculed into proper compliance.  That’s what friends are for.

Yeah, either Kanye or Jamie should have talked the other one out of this.  One of those ideas that seems hot when you are drunk and high and just kicking around ideas, but the moment that white jacket shows up complete with button up chest plate, that is when you turn back.

Now Kanye is on twitter where he drops classics like this:

“Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference… not until I get the table though”

I bet you wish your boss would call off all meetings until the new conference table gets delivered.

and this:

“When I create I try to submerge myself into a dream like state where I am a 5 year old. Just enough information to still have my own opinion”

I do the same thing, but I like to aim for 12 years old so that I’m also already obsessed with women.

He will also send a random tweet about a bad ass Victorian end table just so you know he’s on some real artist type shit.

It isn’t all wild though.  That Power track is hot and Kanye is officially dropping new music every single Friday until his album is released.  He’s calling it G.O.O.D. Fridays and last week he dropped a real banger.

Check out Monster…which Kanye is giving away, but somehow Universal Music Group is ripping off of YouTube including the official Kanye West channel as quickly as they can.  Not to worry, your boy Brock got it early and it is fire.

Check out Monster with Rick Ross, Kanye, Jay-Z and Nicki Minaj

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Yes, Kanye is back, yes, Jay just said that, and yes Nicki killed it.  That is rolling in the whip on repeat all week.

-Brock “My presence is a present, kiss my ass”

P.S. Amber Rose is still fine.

Paris Hilton has done it again.  Done what?  I don’t know. I don’t know why she is famous.  I know she had a show with Snooki’s personal trainer back in the day.  I think she made out with a hamburger one time while she humped a car.

I know she’s so rich she doesn’t really need to work.  I know her sister has somehow stayed out of the firing line so I can’t blame the family.  So Paris was in Vegas this weekend and was really trying to get it in.  So what do you need when you are in a city that never shuts down, where clubs are open all night, that has every restaurant, store, adult amusement, gambling, nude shows, and hoes?  What do you need to really set it off?

Paris Hilton apparently travels around with a white horse in her travel kit.  I guess that is rich girls for you.  They never know when they are going to want to go for a pony ride. I know Caesars has that ancient roman theme, but I didn’t know they actually let you bring your white horse with you into the casino.

I’ve heard Paris rides the white horse all the time.  She can’t get enough white horse.  I heard she used to ride with Jenna Jameson and Aubrey O’Day when she used to hang with them.  I hear she’s been riding the white horse since she was very little. She must also raise mini horses because I hear she is always carrying a little white horse with her where ever she goes.  So last night she really messed up…and I’ve never heard of this.  She must have left the hotel and been riding her white horse down the strip because she got a DUI and the police caught her and her white horse.  I didn’t know you could get a DUI for riding a horse, but apparently it is possible.  In fact, she got arrested for even having the white horse.  Here is her mug shot.

She looks like she just got done riding that white horse alright.  Tanned, cheeks flushed, she’s got her hair braided so it doesn’t fall in her face, eyes bright with excitement.

Oh wait, they are talking about booger sugar?  China White?  That Tony Montana?  C’mon Paree!  You gotta get it together.  Didn’t you see what happened to your girl Lindsay Lohan?  Don’t you remember the last time you were in jail?

You were, like totally wicked bummed out.  Now you are still walking around with that stuff in your purse?  Nice Paris.  I thought you had disappeared completely.  Now you are back.  I guess you couldn’t stay away, huh?

So Paris Woman up and handle your business.

I can’t see you like this.  I’ll always remember you like you were when I first met you.  I’ll never forget your angelic face.

Bathed in the green light of night vision, looking like a deer caught in headlights.  You’ll always be that sweet naive little lady.  Get it together Paris.

Man Up!

-Brock

Twitter is a wild place.  85% of the stuff that people say is random wildness, but every once in a while you can find some real value.  I started following @Catf1sh a while ago and noticed the dude really knew his music.  So the other day I was talking some junk about old R&B groups and he chimed right in.  I figured Catf1sh could hit me with a hot playlist of tracks I wasn’t up on so I asked him to fire me one, he did that and more.  He dropped a full on Top 25 on that ass for Team Us.  I usually curate content before I throw it up here, but I know Catf1sh brings the heat so I’ma be hearing these tracks for the first time like all of you.

Follow that man Catf1sh on twitter at www.twitter.com/catf1sh and peep his blog at Carl Winslow’s Hairline.

Here is the first installment, 25-16, more next week.

-Brock

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Basically, this post came to fruition when the homie Brock was posting something on Twitter about the other 2 niggas in Jodeci’s irrelevance. Maybe a day or so before that I posted the same exact question but about the other 2 niggas in Jagged Edge. Everyone knows what the twins do, similar to K-Ci & JoJo, but those other niggas bringing up the rear are about as useful as Tiger’s divorce lawyer. They just show up, take a cut of your dough, then bounce. Yeah.

So, Brock asked me to put together a list. 25 songs, no genres, no time frames. Just music that I love that you all might as well. If you don’t, who gives a shit? I know I don’t. Shall we?

25. All Star AKA Starlito – “Starlito’s Way”

No hook, just spitting. Figured we’d get this list off the right way. Starlito, as he goes by nowadays, is from Memphis and he’s no stranger to ripping a beat to shreds. This song has it all: shit talking, dope punchlines, and enough swagger on the track for a guy to say “You’re paying for my presence, the bars is free”. Carlito would be proud.

24. Lil Eddie – “Passing Time”

Kinda like the anti-love song R&B record, which is why I love it. Dude is basically singing to a chick telling her she has great pussy but they really don’t have a future together. When she tries to handcuff him, he’s like “Stop lying to yourself, you knew what this was.” What’s not to like about that.

23. Shyne – “The Life”

One of the best Shyne songs ever made, and a song where dude has his own identity, rather than being a Biggie clone. One of the eeriest things ever is to listen to the last verse of this record, then keeping in context all the trials and tribulations he had to deal with as a result of the Puffy/J. Lo shooting incident. Death before dishonor indeed.

22. The-Dream – “Love vs. Money Pt. 1”

Basically every man will have to decide between love and money at some point on his life. Women don’t have that problem, because other socioeconomic factors usually prevent money that they own from becoming an issue. But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about some dude taking Dream’s girl behind his back while he was out grinding making money trying to make her happy. Ungrateful bitch.

21. Lil B – “Real Life”

Lil B is one of my favorite new artists. Dude gets hated on unjustly, but songs like this one are why he’s rated so highly by myself and others who look past the whole Based thing. This song is a deep storytelling track about the ills of unprotected sex and drug addiction. If you don’t get the message behind the music on this one, you don’t have a soul.

20. Goo Goo Dolls – “Name”

This song has special meaning to me because my friend in college used to play this on the guitar and get all the white chicks fawning over him. I went thru a phase where I wanted that kind of attention that being a white guitar player brings you, and this was the only song that made me want to pick up a guitar and take guitar lessons. I never got around to it, but whenever I hear this song, it takes me back to that moment.

19. Usher – “Can U Handle It?”

The first pussy I got was to this song. Enough said.

18. Bilal – “Sometimes”

Being a Virgo, I tend to overanalyze things often. This song is like an extension of several thoughts that I have had at one point or another. Some of the stuff that you second guess and wonder how it would be different if sometimes you get the long end of the stick instead of the short end (pause). Also, the scat ending just kinda seals the deal for me.

17. Eminem, Stat Quo, Obie Trice & 50 Cent – “Spend Some Time”

Four rappers all with four different takes on women. Some of them are jaded by superstardom, such as 50’s verse. Others, particularly Em’s verse, come from a much more relatable position. But at the end of the day, it’s all about the consequences that arise when the time that you spend with someone just isn’t enough to them.

16. Trae – “Quit Calling Me”

Sometimes I just want alone time. Whenever I’m in one of those moods, this song sums up my views perfectly. I’m an asshole by nature.

-Catf1sh

Now I don’t like stereotypes. I don’t like to judge people based on appearance or ethnicity alone.  I know it is wrong to stereotype people.  But there are times when you need to understand that stereotypes are based in truth.  Maybe they don’t apply all the time, but they damn sure apply some of the time.  There are even times when people just feed into the stereotype and don’t help any of their people.

So let’s start with the empirical data.

I have to assume that Blow My Junk is gonna have some damn good measurement statistics.  I like how that Asian line has peaked and starts tailing off before the African American line even gets started.  These statistics get thrown out there so much people just accept them as true.

I don’t know the crank game.  I don’t know if one of the ladies of Us Versus Them wants to weigh in on this issue with some uhhhh, hands on experience, please chime in.  Now I’m sure guys like to front.  That is why they carry around the Magnum condoms with the extra breathing room.  But there is a new product on the market that is really not making it look good for the Asians out there. Check out the return of the Chastity belts coming out of China.

First of all, I thought the chastity belt was dead.  Any man who agrees to lock up his dick has a much bigger problem on his hands.  Even Tiger would look at a chick crazy if she suggested this, and we all know he could have used something to keep his dick in his pants.  Second, they didn’t want to give themselves any extra space on this one I guess.  I guess you can’t catch any day wood in this getup or you are in for a world of hurt.

Why play your whole race like that?  I mean change the world one dick at a time.  At least make that joint super wide.  It looks like a damn thumb brace.  See, now once you put it out there, the ladies aren’t even checking for it anymore.

Damn shame.  They went Team Them for real.

-Brock

This UvT thing has gotten so deep I forget how easy it is supposed to be.  Us.  Versus.  Them.  Easy concept, so we are taking it back to its roots.  Big ass pictures to let you know how to tell Team Us from Team Them.  So here we go.  I’m giving you a two-fer on the first one.  Us Versus Them and our worldview on the Fail Tail.

We’ve got a few more of these rolling this week then we’re gonna start taking suggestions.

-Brock

This is the most badass thing I’ve seen on the internets in a long time.

If you need a better look, you can check it out on the POP CHART LAB website.  I might need to buy that poster for the office.  Keep looking at it, it gets better as you get in deeper.  Like the cross between Daddies and Macks being both Daddy Mack and Mack Daddy from Kris Kross which as a group would have been placed under the “improper use of K”.  I also like Juelz Santana at the cross between audacious misspelling and minerals.

-Brock