Now see, you start writing assology posts and paying homage to asymmetrical thickness and what do you get? This:

I’m told this is Ashanti’s sister, Not-Ashanti…. Awww, Brock warned us against the perils of the superthick chick, but somehow, everybody out there just didn’t hear him. Listen, you should love your body and hey, you’re a beautiful woman, inside. But you just gotta know that your dress aint poppin, that knee cap game aint hittin and that “just for me” alleged Hawaiian silky hair piece does not give you a free pass to step outside your position and try to play the role of a chick who can really pop that hip, slightly part those lips, look at the camera and say “yeah, and?!”

Nah baby. I wonder where these chicks get the idea that A. this is sexy and B. you gotta reverse your weaknesses by highlighting them in a too tight, too short, “freak me right after I hit the buffet” dress. Oh, I see, she gets it from her mama (shown on the far right).

I’m not a religious man, but Jesus, whenever you’re free, please step in and holler at each one of these chicks, thanks. See, the problem with this chick, and hundreds around the nation like her, is that when she rocks this outfit in the club, no less than 10 dudes lean over to their boy and utter those 5 unacceptable words, “did you see that ass?”

Yes we did and it was just shy of 2 girls, one cup terrible.

- Lake