If you’re a loyal reader of UvT you know there has been a crazy debate about Kim K’s ass in the comments section.
A self described and admitted ass geller (lol) “Zsa Zsa Cookie” told us that she knows Kardashian’s ass is not real. She further alleges that Kardashian’s dumper is filled up with the same substance, ass-a-licious love gel, that she put into her very own ass to give herself that synthetic thunder.
I shit you not. And then, she commanded me to google that “Hydrogel Butt Injections” to prove her point. Well, sheeeit, as a committed life long learner, you know her will I did obey and what I learnt astonished me. WOW.. There really is some wild chick flying around the country, selling bagged up ass to the highest bidder! What is this, some kind of bastardized Robin Hood, rob from the lab, give to the needy stripper? And it appears that dat ass is selling like HOE CAKES!!! Dude, I’m like my boy Will from the comments, if the ass gel is so good and so effective in the fight against negative arse-ness, why doesn’t everyone have it? Or do they?
Right and that’s when you start to feel those walls closing in on you. I mean, could you have been hittin gel for all these years and not even know it? If you were running your hands through Barbaro Mane for the better part of your adult life, why not?
Just as an aside, don’t you love how they make the broad so miserable in the “before” pic? I mean, she aint got no lip chap, is in desperate need of Proactiv and from the looks of it just got popped for trying to lift condoms from her local 7-11. I mean, basically they give you a mug shot, right? Then it’s weave time and everything changes. Suddenly our convicted felon has the custom fit and feel of Aubrey from Making the Band. And yes, I’ll resist expounding on Aubrey….this time.
Yo, I’m here to say that I can’t tell you if Kimmy K’s ass is gellin’ like magellean, ok? Lola Luv’s neither.
What I can tell you is that they’re both banging like a benzy and just like Mario Winans, I don’t wanna know. I mean, if you’re gellin, keep it on the lo.
Dude, let’s just try to put that crazy Angel Lola Luv arse into perspective.
I mean, it’s just hilarious to actually think for a microsecond that such an ass could even possibly be “real”. I mean, come on. Has ANYONE seen a body like that? Fine, I’ve seen asses that big, but they’re attached to a regulation sized lower back, a skrong thigh and study calf. I mean, could her shit be any more out of proportion?
I just don’t have that kind of expertise, but the ladies in the comments sections, some that have first ass errr hand knowledge of today’s technology, swear up and down that her ass (and Kimmy K’s) is as phony as a $3 bill.
Man, I hate this shit. It’s like when I first learned that chicks had weaves. Dude, literally, I really didn’t know and I aint been right since! I mean, you can’t trust anything these days. Double D breass-tah-sis have to be looked upon with suspicion, sub prime mortgage backed securities got my 401k actin’ a bitch, Jello allegedly has swine hoof in it (that’s why it’s so good?), and Petro costs $5 a gallon!!! I can’t trust long silky hair without a background check and two witnesses from the hairdressers. 1 in 4 mufuckas in NYC have herpes and now ass aint even ass! Seriously, this is what you call Lake Arlington hell. Forget the culture wars, can a nilla get a honest and wholesome table dance?
Oh yes, it’s all fucked up.
- Lake
breaking down into tears but i’ll try.
Fellas what’s left that you can believe in? bad enough that you had to first compensate for the High Heel fake out but now they’ve gone to the full synthetic. The j fake out was accepted and integrated into society rather well. Now women are poised on the edge of flooding the market with knockoff asses. Booty stocks will plummet. The question should i adjust my portfolio and acquire only blue-chip booty or should i take a chance on these high-risk start-ups? I honestly don’t know.
The arms race continues i suppose. Women keep articficial enhancing body parts and we keep artificiallly enhancing our bank balance. Cuz really that’s the bottom line of this whole thing. We let the boob argument go. Women said “we needs these for our self esteem.”, “because it’s something distinctly female that i’m lacking.”, “To make my shoulders fit.” I’ve heard em all. But where is the explanation for super-sizing the donkey? And if you remember….. well everything up until about 6 year ago the no-ass was the style. You have to go back to the 1700’s to find the last time the apple-bottom was the whip! So waht happens to these bogus-butt-babes when the fashion swings back the other way? I don’t even wat to think about what happens when these chicks get older. But i digress. This is pure vanity I can’t think of any psychological affliction that puffin out the pooper (I’m a fan of alliteration, sue me) can remedy.
So let’s boil it down and examine the main components. Guys like breasts and butts. Women like car, houses, and money. We all lie about them. I guess I’ll back to braggin on my BM. You think BMW but it’s BMX. Holla I’ll let you ride on the handle bars.
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au naturale game is absolutely the gold standard when it comes to the posterior region. And the prospect that many of my faves are tipping out to the local gel shop has really had more of an affect on me than I’d like to admit. Just. Devastating. It’s like the steroids scandal only with something I actually care about. Damn.
In response, I’d like to ask that UvT or star commenters Be and KIR serve as a kind of civilian review board, a greek chorus if you will, to protect us uninformed oglers from ourselves. Maybe there could even be some sort of ranking system or futures market we could create to help predict and therefore smoke out suspected gel-mama’s before they reach official UvT ranking status.
Lastly on Kimmy K (and I hope you can feel that last glimmer of hope receding on the horizon like Jay Gatsby’s green light), I have personally witnessed (erm, experienced?) natural body growth in the regions we’re talking about that occurs between, say, that teenage picture of Kimmy and her current tabloid legend status, so I’m not always convinced when I see an old pic of someone that they had a visit to the chop shop. However, given that miss K seems so unafraid to use various procedures to enhance her appearance — taking my bad medicine from Be On It here — even I have to admit that her resulting visage is unseemly.
So with with Jenny from the Block standing at a 0 on our 0-5 scale from natural to recklessly enhanced, I have no reservation in placing Lola Luv all the way at 5, Ethie or no. I can’t put Kimmy higher than a 2, though. Sue me; that’s just the way I feel.]]>
Little Zé in City of God.
@Lake, I agree that J-Lo’s got the photoshop advantage above, but ample evidence abounds that she keeps it real regardless. And I gotta cosign with you and Triple B on the anti-gel tip. In fact, I’ve never really been able to get fully (ahem) behind Vida Guerra because of the fake J’s. That said, two naturally thundrous chicks who never seem to get enough burn in my book are none other than Rosario Dawson (luv ya, baby!) and Leila Arcieri (I mean is there anything that Jamie Foxx ever gets wrong?).
Raafm… I mean Slick. Out.]]>
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Kim k is taking butt enlargement pills out of Hollywood. Here is the site that says that they have worked with her http://www.star_curves.webs.com