Lake was right dammit.  I don’t watch the damn Bachelor, but I know that Lake’s post started a damn outrage.  No one understood why DeAnna went for the free-spirited snowboarder.  We’ll the crack staff at Us Versus Them dug up the real deal.

Don’t be surprised if she ask where da cash at?

So the snowboarder is pushing a Masarati?  Oh yeah, he’s really down to earth.  Hey everyone who thought DeAnna didn’t go for the perfect prince of a man, you need to check your definition of prince.  I’m also sure this isn’t the first time Jesse’s car attracted some hose either.

By the way, is Deanna bad?

Look she’s clearly decent.  This right here is old school white woman thick.  I’m not talking new wave Kimmy K thick, I’m talking looks good in jeans, curves in all the right places, but not really bringing anything to the table thick.  You know the master assologist needs confirmation.  Let’s get that angle 2.

Uhhhhhh, yeah.  She could trick you in the right jeans and some dim lighting, but she’s not UvT quality.  DeAnna I’m glad you found true love.  I’m sure you loved being on tv, you love that car, you love being a People Magazine cover, and a prenuptual negotiation away from being independently wealthy.  I love it.  I bet that won’t be on the recap next season.

-Brock

===============Update=============

Damn straight I called the shit.  DeAnna was the most pushy bachelorette as a contestant I ever saw and then she just took it to a higher level when she became that Bachelorette with the big B.

She’s literally the worst.  She saw the big loot cakes and little brain and went right for Jesse.  Let’s be clear, when the second place dude’s profession went from “Real Estate Attorney” to “Account Executive,” we should have known he was done for.

DeAnna keeps her golddigging game just as tight as she keeps her crazy controlling woman game.  Now what’s not very tight is that midsection, which is fine, actually.  I must say, she sports it like it’s completely all good.  You kind of have to respect it in this day and age.  At any rate, with her “I’m saying she’s a gold digger” because “clearly she wouldn’t have picked Jesse, nilla” status, I’m just glad my boy, Best Bachelor Alive, Brad Womack really stuck it to her when he had a chance.

errrrrrrrr

I’m hoping he hit in the fantasy suite too. haaa  Dude, is there ANYTHING in reality tv better than the fantasy suite?  I can’t get over it… dude hands ole girl taht little card, you know the one that say, “Will you let me HIT?”  It’s so damn good.

- Lake