Ok, I know what you’re thinking:  Rex, haven’t you let off enough steam on OJ already?  I think that’s right, but imagine my surprise when I found this gem above!  Was it politically correct back in the day to market a product on the basis of race and dack size?

Come on the inferences are inescapable here.  First, OJ has three legs.  Now imagine what that third leg is supposed to represent.  So let me get this straight – if I wear these Dingo boots, my third leg will grow to be the same size as my other two?  So long that I’ll need to wear a boot on it? BRILLIANT! Where do I pick them summabiches up?  I like how that third leg propped it up on the logo too, pimp style instead of just hanging low.

Then the double (really triple) entendre on the word “dingo.” Priceless.  A dingo is really a wild Australian dog: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dingo.  And isn’t it ironic that, according to a noteworthy source, “as a result of interbreeding with dogs introduced by EUROPEAN settlers, the purebred dingo gene pool is in decline?”  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingo#Conservation_status.  So now I get the connection, the dingo interbreeds with Europeans and so does OJ:

This ad is getting more brilliant by the minute.  Then there’s the real obvious play on “dingo:”

MANDINGO! OJ, how could you miss this?  Don’t you see the first line on the poster: “Expect the savage?”  YOU’RE the savage fool.  I mean I know you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but didn’t you realize the makers of these “Dingo” boots were clowning you because you’re African American?

And they just kept it going:

So that looks pretty harmless right?  That’s until you focus in on the slide that’s really meant for emphasis:

Ha.  “I’ve got to put something ’special’ on my feet after a good game.”  Remember the first pic above with the boot on the “third leg?”  This is plainly and simply an implication that if OJ plays well, he’ll be putting something “special” on his third leg after the game.  After all “nobody puts leather together like Dingo”.  I bet ol’ Juice knows how to put some leather together himself.  I know Chris Berman is down with that. Another covert racist dig on OJ’s blackness.  And that last slide in the full comic strip is priceless too.  OJ standing next to his “boot” which is larger than he is.  The “boot” might as well be this:

So basically the whole theme of the ad is if you wear Dingo boots, you’ll actually turn into Mandingo and in no time, you’ll be f’ing like him too.

OJ completely missed it though, and we know this because he followed up this series of ads for Dingo boots with an add for Spot Bilt:

Holy moly OJ.  Didn’t you ever stop to think that the emphasis might be on the word “spot,” as in you black spot OJ?

READ THE AD FOOL!  Don’t you see there in the third paragraph that the company draws a distinction between “Juicemobiles,” for little black boys, and “LITEmobiles,” for the white kid?  Then they hit you with that, “there’s a pair that’s priced right and made right to fit every kind of OJ.”  Ha.  Subtle racism is a mofo.  I know, I know, I’ve gone too far.  I’m paranoid right?  I see racism everywhere.

Just know this.  If they come up to ol Wall Street Rex to be in a story about Black Friday I’m not going for it.  I’m not going to talk about my stocks “being in the Black”, they can’t get me to say how my “strong positions outperform the market”. I see it coming from a mile away.

Well, OJ doesn’t have to worry about it anymore.  Hope he’s got his Dingo’s strapped up tight.  There are some Cowboys out there looking to put some leather together for sure.

– Rex