A few years ago, Jay-Z opened up the 40/40 club in Manhattan.  The name 40/40 honors the tradition of exceptional baseball players who achieve the benchmarks of 40 home runs and 40 stolen bases in a single season.  Well, your boy Rex has put his own special spin on the 40/40 moniker: Chicks who are 40 years old who I’d like to have 40 minutes or so with behind closed doors.

First up . . . Stacey Dash.   Stacey gives you the full thigh, breast and leg like KFC.

Now what Stacey can’t give you is that oh so soft and moist biscuit, but she makes up for it with her killer tailpiece (I’ll take that over a biscuit any day).

Either those shorts had to be hand crafted with special side ventilation by German engineers OR all that ass literally burst them at the seems shredding the fabric into the microfibers that comprise it.  If you notice in the pic, the ass is so large it actually casts a shadow of itself on the inner left thigh.  This picture means WAR (short for Waist-To-Ass Ratio); and, Stacey has an amazing one.  Indeed, though it’s a little outside their traditional wheelhouse, even Blaine and Twan can appreciate an ass on this level:

Then let’s move to a different angle and check out the thigh. 

See that little hump right in the middle between the knee bone and the tailbone is a tell tale sign of some real thickness.  And it’s tight, but still has soft feminine lines to it. This pose brought Katt Williams to his knees (this ish right here . . .  this ish right here . . . )

Then Stacey bumps the J-game just right too:

Wow.  If this were my wife, the kids would find the tap often empty when it came feeding time.  In this situation, daddy’s still breast feeding too ok?

(Not pictured, Rex stage left with his mouthful) . . . . Moving on, even the calf game is right:

I like the fact she gives you the inside view with the upper leg and the outside view with the lower. Those heels have them sitting up just perfect too. Never mind she looks like she’s about to get broken off in the back of a mobile home.  I mean I can’t hate, if the necks can vote for Obama . . .

. . .  I guess I can swallow my pride when they hit Stacey in the ride. Or maybe it wasn’t a redneck at all . . . perhaps it was one of Us.

Ha.  Is that cat serious? Now that’s “Change” we do not believe in right there.  Even Stacey had to stop what she was doing to make sure I didn’t get it twisted.

Don’t you hate it when fine girls hit poses like this just to tease you and keep you from getting that vantage point that you need? Well, I do too.  That’s why I take yoga.

That’s right. Rex . . . Twister champion, Parker High School 1994-1998. Yes Stacey, two can play that contortion game.  So now we’re both at the same angle, let’s take another look.

I see I made you smile.  I like that.  But, I do have to take a half-to-full point deduction for that subpar back arch.  Now, if I’m behind that I think it goes without saying I’m not getting up, but I am going to have to give you Rex’s patented back arch technique:  Step 1: I place an open palm in the small of the back, then apply force until the belly button touches the mattress while holding the ass up with my free hand. Step 2: Once the basic arch is in place, I take the hand from the small of the back, grab the hair and gently pull back raising the head and neck right to the edge of discomfort, but not past it.  (That’ll wipe that smile off her face). Step 3: I grab the CD remote and turn on Too Short.

Repeat this process for about a week and the results set in permanently.

Seriously though, Stacey is a beast at 42.  I especially like the fact that even with all that body she can still dress it up and give you that wifey type look too.

Ludacris said it best: “A lady in the street and a freak in the bed.”

– Rex