I know, I know, I haven’t even named the Us Versus Them movie of the year for 2008 yet in our second Annual UvT awards yet, but dammit I’ve already seen all I need to see.  You see Powder Blue is a powerful story about some things that happen, with people involved and a journey that brings them to the end of their long road…whatever.  Oh yeah, and Jessica Biel plays a stripper in the movie and I’ll be damned if she didn’t nail it!

I’m not talking Demi Moore mail it in ‘Striptease’ stripper.  I’m not talking Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘True Lies’ super awkward stripper.  And I’m definitely not talking Jesse Spano from Saved By the Bell, “this should be a lot sexier than it is”, damn this movie is terrible, ‘Showgirls’ stripper.  I’m talking about studied her craft, spent a month getting tips and tricks from strippers in Atlanta at Strokers, did she just make one booty cheek pop? stripper.

You know the tail piece is in effect.

talk about angle 2.  The slimmed out waist with the thick thigh?  With one foot balanced on the pole?  Justin Timberlake ain’t hittin that right maaaan.

What else we got?

[silence]

I really don’t have anything to say about that right there.  My man Rasheed Wallace is going to have to take this for me.

Yeah.  That pretty much covers it.

Oh no.  I can’t take it anymore.  Not the Wall Street Rex back arch.  Anything but that.  I mean dammit.  This isn’t “strike a pose, but can’t move” work here either.  I mean she’s really got the moves.  We knew that when she started shaking it to “Vote in the Box” back in November.

Okay fine.  I don’t know if I can sit through all of that sensitive content to get what I want, but the 4 minute YouTube recap that strings together all the stripper scenes is going to be pure gold.  Performance of the year right there.  I’m going to have to expand the White Girl Tail Scale by half a point for exceptional performance in a motion picture.

-Brock