My boy Brock did a completely thorough listing of the man’s true scale of 1-10.  I must say, homey laced it.  And that babe down at the end?

Yeah, she’s a full on 8.35.  I said it, you gotta be precise out here.  Anyway, I figured since the dudes were given that road map and allowed to understand that yes, there are pretty much as many 1’s out there as there are 10’s, why not do the same for the ladies.  Only, I must warn you guys:  The ladies 1-10 is NOT evenly distributed.  How could it be?  After all, what lady do you know (with reasonably high self esteem) that doesn’t think she deserves 8 and up?

Mind you, that’s independent of where they fall on the 1-10 scale.  That’s why the same cat gets 8 number in the club every night.  That’s why when you roll to the club with women, at the end of the night they always say:  “There weren’t any cute guys tonight except Demetrio who is a dream, but every single girl in the club was all over him.” Then you flash her that patented “chick” please face:

And she responds with the super annoying, should be punished by death “What?  I mean, he’s a really good looking guy, I get it.  But I won’t be one of his many whores.” Correction, you CAN’T be one of his hoes because you’re so low on his scale that you aren’t eligible, but if he did give you ANY run, you’d be all over his dack like white on rice.  Which brings us to our factors for the top 10.

Top 10 Factors:

From a woman’s honest perspective, ALL men are judged on this scientific, UvT Scale of desirability including FOUR main factors:

1.  Money – This one speaks for itself.  Most women will just come out and admit that loot gets them wet.  Some lie and talk about the “nice things” they like that just so happen to require money they don’t have!  AHNT  In the end, it’s ALL about the dough.

This is such a given that I won’t even bother to elaborate any further.

2.  Looks -  Don’t be fooled, women are just as superficial as men are, but their superficiality manifests itself in different ways.  Most babes just get hot and heavy for a good looking guy such that all of their “rules” go out the window.  No hit on the first date, they hit.  No back door, it’s open season.  No playing the roll of the side hizzie, he’s got another family in Virginia.  I mean, they let cats run all over them.  I know, I know, many babes are seen with worse looking men, so they must be about substance.  WRONG.  First, we have the 3 other factors that trump good looks.  But secondly, womens’ superficiality can be so complex that it trumps good common sense.  Like have you ever met a chick that is so insecure and so narcissistic that she actually dates a ugly dude so she can feel prettier?  Crazy but true.  She’s still superficial alright, just crazy as a bat and well aware of what else he can do for her.

3.  Juice – Now this is something that is highly underrated because it’s hard to isolate.  Unlike Money and Looks, Juice is hard to quantify.  College provides the best example.  For some, a guy’s affiliation in a frat makes him suddenly more desirable.  That’s why you see babes flocking to cats once they go from random dude to frat guy.   For others, playing on a sports team, like that cat who walked on for Duke Basketball but never played?  Right, there’s something about recounting that conversation he had with Grant Hill, Chris Duhon, Carlos Boozer or JJ Redick that brings out Juice chicks want.  All he’s got is a tacit affiliation to real ballers, but it’s good enough.  After all, he plays for the Duke Basketball team, right?  It all just depends.  For some low cats in our society, a “good man with a job” is Juice enough.  One thing I know, Juice matters and it’s good even independent of Looks and Money.

4.  Charisma – Ok, I’m not so Machiavellian to believe that personality doesn’t matter at all.  It does.  Of course, amoung the four factors, it matters least, but it does matter.  We all know or have seen that dude who is relatively bad looking, broke, juiceless, jobless and just overall objectively terrible, with some babe way above his pay grade.

If you haven’t seen this dude, tune into Jerry Springer any time to see these heifers fighting over him. ha  He’s got charisma or to put it in street vernacular, “Game”.  Game matters, a lot.  Wit, humor, listening skills or just plain persistence.  Call it what you want, but he’s got it and it only helps.

Fair enough.  No more jabber.  let’s get to…

The Women’s List 1-10:

10.  The Objectively Attractive, Monied Cat with major Juice and Real Charisma.

You can throw Will Smith in this group as well.  Let’s face it, these cats can do no wrong in the eyes of women.  They’ve literally got it all and can pretty much have what the want, when the want it.

9.  Super Looted Guy -

I know, I know, “you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to sleep with Bill Gates”..  I know, but how about 5,000 million dollars?  No?  Ok, 10,000 million dollars?  No?  Ok, now I know you’re a damn lie.  Bill Gates is worth something like $50 Billion.  Don’t tell me that doesn’t matter to you.

Plenty of you chicks will F a cat for backstage passes to the Timberlake concert.  Who do you think you’re fooling?  Be very clear ladies, he IS a 9 because money trumps everything on the board EXCEPT a dude who has EVERYTHING plus more money than you can fathom (ie. Hollywood A Listers).  Sure, you’d take Russell Crowe over Bill Gates.  But you wouldn’t take Erwin from Accounting over him.  Not a chance.  Sorry, I didn’t make the rules.  God did.

8.  The Good Looking Cat with Juice, Loot and Swagger that comes from it

Do you see that smug look on his face?  Ha  That’s the “woman, get in this car” face.  Yep, “Big” from Sex and the City is completely representative of this guy, but we’ve all seen him in real life.  He’s got that swagger, he’s got that loot and he’s got that lady.  Check that, he’s got them ladies and doesn’t mind treating them like shat because he knows he’s holding ALL the cards.  He’s comfortable with his position, because aside from high rollers with more loot and better looks, he’s WINNING.  There are mini versions of this guy for sure.  Bankers, Doctors, Lawyers, Entrepreneurs and even Trust Fund Babies.  If you can’t recognize them as solid 8’s, then you just don’t know this game.

7.  Good Looking Regular Cat with potential for juice, ends mixed with a little bit of game

Lucky for us, this guy has already been personified by the show “The Bachelor.”  They only let cats like him on the show.  He’s also known as the “good guy” that all these broads claim to want.  Believe me, when they say “good guy,” they mean “Good Looking guy that I won’t starve with.”

Guys, if you truly got your sh*t together, meaning work out, stylist and rhetoric, would you be able to reasonably go on “The Bachelor?”  No?  Flavor of Love at least?  Ha  If the answer is no, then sorry, you aint no Seven homey…

6.  Solid Dude – Moderately Successful or Moderately Good looking and cool or Non fat, Non offensive, tall cat with no obvious imperfections or Very Juicy cat with next to nothing else who knows all the house drug dealers in the clubs

OK, in all honestly, Leslie is probably above the “solid cat” level.  But he’s crafted in the solid cat mold and is representative of him.  His look is definitely at the 6 and even that might be generous.

5.  Basic Cat – Non Offensive, doesn’t want no trouble, will run into some tail if it’s there.  Under appreciated by the money grubbing, juice seeking, non forward looking female.

Again, this is the woman’s scale, not mine.  The truth is, most babes didn’t want no parts of Barack before he started making his speeches and winning elections.  Prior to that he got no play, even though he should have.  Kanye talked about it in Gold Digger:

“He gone make it into a Benz out of that Dotson, he got that envision baby, look in his eyes, this week he’s moppin’ floors, next week it’s the fries”

Which of course is a great reference to Coming to America.  Anyway, the Barack of old was a SOLID 5 and was getting ZERO run from the honeys.  Hell, even Michelle iced BO out for a clean 6 months before he got a first date.  Sad but true.  And there are 5 level, pre blow up Baracks out there now…but yall don’t want em.  I know.

4.  Slightly low, but not terribly offensive, doesn’t really get it, table scraps guy

3.  Even Still Lower table scraps guy without the upgrades of a 4

And yes that is just the same dude, only fat.  FULL step down.

2.  The terrible cat who is not good looking, no loot, no charisma, BUT thinks he’s got juice

The lesson here is that women would rather be bored to death than embarrassed to death.  Nobody in this country would ride with this guy and believe me, he does exist.  ha

1.  The No loot, no juice, out of luck, out of time, out of gimmicks dude

It’s a cold harsh world and that’s why my man is at 1.  No loot is a no go.  And Seinfeld said it best, “You don’t see any handsome homeless.”

Hey, yall can dispute if you want, but this is the true scale.  Come on now.  Don’t lie.  Let me ask you this.  Where does THIS GUY fall?

Uh huh, that’s a brain teaser. Don’t forget, our girl Kir in NV hit….lol… I think.

- Lake