A few days ago, Applewhite got caught sneaking a peek at Jessica Simpson.  (And he might have dropped by in the comments section?)  So I knew we needed to make sure that all of Us knew how to get your sneak a peak game tight.  Have you ever been walking behind a bad chick at out in public?  I’ve seen dudes break their neck to take a look at that ass.  First of all, let’s go ahead and acknowledge the fact that I am walking behind her.  So there ain’t no sneaking here.  That means I’ve got pure unadulterated watching that ass in motion.  But you wouldn’t expect less from an Assologist, would you?  How do you think I did all my research?

Let’s cover the basics with my man David Beckham.

I’m going to have to say that this is a bit of a half hearted effort.  Sure, he’s got the hands up, it isn’t a direct stare, but my man is looking HARD.  Come on Becks, step yo game up.

See that is a little bit better.  You gotta put a little range on that peek.  Now if Posh was on your left, that “run the chin” move would be solid.  Definitely better.

See, now you put it all together.  Work the range, block wifey, keep the hand high.  You are good to go Becks.  Hope it as worth it.  Blondie might be working with something.

In this situation, he could have also used the “yawn and look”, the “eye rub” or the “look for the refreshment waitress and scan back across”.  Now that we’ve covered what you should do, let’s cover what you should NOT do.

Now I have to admit…that is a fantastic tail.  My man looks like he’s lived in some negative arsed Asian country for most of his life.  That is the moment of enlightenment my friends.  But I digress.

You know what though?  Even the best get caught out there every once in a while.

Awwwwwww.  Come on Mr. President!  You gotta keep it tighter than that!  Your boy Nick Sarkozy is at least using the chin move.  I’m glad to know you are one of Us though.  Now Bush wasn’t good for much, but the dude knew how to use the power of his office.

You don’t peek at dat ass…you smack that ass.  You’re the leader of the free world!  The President doesn’t sneak peeks.

-Brock

——————————UPDATE———————-

Now I knew President Obama wasn’t going to get caught slippin on a rookie pimp move.  The video let’s you know that not only wasn’t he not checking old girl out.  But that he was also being the greatest guy on the planet at the same time.

Or…He just invented the “help a lady down the stairs and peek at that ass.

You decide.