Last week I talked about guys who can’t figure out why they aren’t getting a woman.  Andrew on the Real World didn’t realize that in order to have a woman treat you like a man (including have sex with you), you need to act like a man.  But now these guys have taken it to another level.  Check out Douglas Hines.

So that is Douglas and his main lady.  No, she isn’t just a weird looking babe who’s eyes are too close together and couldn’t figure out where the camera is, that is Roxxxy, Douglas’ “invention”…she isn’t just a sex doll, she’s a sex robot.  First of all, the way Douglas is posing with ol girl like they are in a damn Olan Mills family photo is a little bit creepy.  That might just be his girlfriend too.  I have no doubt that Douglas here props ol Roxy up in a chair during dinner and bangs the hell out of that poor robot for dessert.  Behind those glasses is a man who means it when he takes Roxxxy out of that sundress.  Here’s my thing.  He’s already banging a glorified blow up doll, but here are the real reasons he can’t get a woman.  Check out these quotes.

“She doesn’t vacuum or cook, but she does almost everything else,”

Nice job.  A quote from the 60’s.  Still looking for a woman who vacuums, cooks and fucks.  Because by “everything else” you are actually only talking about lying still during sex while you choose which hole to violate.  She’s not earning money, can’t hold a legit conversation, isn’t hitting the grocery store, and I don’t care how many dollops you drop on her, she’s never having any kids.

He goes on to say that she is programmed with 5 personalities and voice recognition but immediately lets the other pervs of the world know,

“Luckily, guys,” he joked, “there’s a button that turns that off.”

Player.  What are you doing?  Using the Archie Bunker hollering technique?  Let’s not talk about the fact that your opportunity to get a real woman after appearing on CNN.com with your tranny looking doll is approximately 0%, but your outdated rhetoric basically let’s people know you haven’t been with a real woman in 30 years.  Check the other pic from his website.

Yeah that is not sexy.  Check the personality types.

• Frigid Farrah – She is reserved and shy
• Wild Wendy – She is outgoing and adventurous
• S&M Susan – She is ready to provide your pain/pleasure fantasies
• Young Yoko – She is oh so young (barely 18) and waiting for you to teach her
• Mature Martha – She is very experienced and would like to teach you!

Young Yoko?  Your doll doesn’t have to be 18 my man.  I have to assume this might violate sexual predator laws in about 38 states.  Is someone making sure Dougie here is staying 500 yards away from schools?

Then some other dude did even more.  This is Delilah aka Nude IV a “sexy robot” made out of typewriter parts.

Yes, the builder here has J’s complete with nips too.

At least we don’t need to worry about Jeremy here having sex with his (I think).  But it is a little obsessive to build typewriter robot thighs.  These guys have gone too far.  It’s sad really.

-Brock