This story isn’t funny, but it is a great example of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. For instance, I believe I have explained my long standing problem with strip clubs. No matter how upstanding of a citizen you are, if you get shot and die in a strip club you will forever be known as “the guy we thought was really nice, but clearly spent too much time in the underground society hanging out with strip clubs.” It is one of those places where if you die, people will be sad to see you go, but in the back of their minds they will be thinking…he shouldn’t have been there anyway.

This is one of those stories…actually the only story I’ve ever heard of that’s actually worse than dying in a strip club.

Meet Brett Cummins, weatherman for NBC in Arkansas.

I know what you’re thinking. Brett Cummins? That’s terrible! That’s not the bad part. Just an unfortunate coincidence. How unfortunate? Check the rest of the story. Brett decided to party last week with a few of his buddies. Just a few dudes kicking it in the hot tub. There is a little drink a little drugs. Sounds like a crazy night. Brett passes out in the hot tub.

Brett’s boy is asleep in the house and wakes up like it is the Hangover. No one knows exactly what happened the night before. When he sees Brett, the guy is still asleep in the hottub and the tub has been drained of water. Here’s the kicker. The third man who was there that night was dead in the bottom of the hottub, butt naked, with a dog collar around his neck.

Dubya. Tee. Eff?

See, this is where having a little bit of fame can work against you. You are a local weatherman and you wake up next to some dead naked dude with a dog collar around his neck. Yeah, that’s worse than getting shot at the strip club. This is the first time I’ve ever actually hoped a guy was gay. I hope he came out of the closet a decade ago, his parents know, his job knows, and everyone who is wondering if it is going to rain tomorrow knows. Otherwise, this dude just got dragged out of the closet. That would really suck. If he isn’t gay. He’s never going to be able to convince anyone of that fact again.

That party ended so badly I don’t even feel like these guys had a solid plan when the party started. I don’t want to be at a drug, drank, hottub party with dudes in dog collars. That is not the description I’m looking for when I get to the crib and ask, so what are we doing tonight? If anyone actually describes that…I’m leaving. Period.

-Brock