Look, don’t nobody tell me that we don’t torture.  First of all, if you’ve ever watched a single episode of 24, you know the deal.

I mean, if the cops take plungers to regular illegal aliens in NYC, you know them good ole boys from…oh I don’t know..  Fargo, North Dakota are jacking up every “Osama” [...]

Yoo, this is just hilarious to me.  Genius Justice Roberts can’t get his sh&t together, Joe Biden calls him on it and now Joe is the one who has to apologize?

That just aint right.  In fact, let’s just run that Biden “gaffe” for the people:

Haaaaa.  The best part of that video is the quick shake [...]

Secret Service Agents are the ultimate badasses.  Sure, Marines, Navy Seals and the soldiers in Iraq and overseas are risking their lives every day, but the Secret Service has the ultimate job of protecting the President.

Plus, they always wear sunglasses, rock those little ear thingies, speak into their cuffs.  Oh yeah, and the first line [...]

“….so how the f*ck are suppose to make cheese, all on a nillaz mind…”

Boy, it’s been a f*cked up year for the city of DEtroit:
1.  Kwame Kilpatrick was getting his bang out, mic checka, “I did not have sex with dat—,” textual chocolate, perjury indictment, thrown the farg out of office, get your arse checked [...]

Heidi Montag supports Sarah Palin.  If that’s not reason enough to ice down McCain/Palin, I don’t know what is. Heidi and Spencer should start a new group, douchebags and skanks for McCain and have a fundraiser or something.

And further proof is out that these super skinny, siliconed out h*es don’t actual eat.  Heidi’s punk a$s [...]

Is George Bush every going to leave the Olympics?  I know he’s basically a lame duck going into the November elections, but didn’t Russia just invade Georgia this week?  Even Condi Rice came off of vacay to try to help out.  Is anyone still putting $4 gas into their car?  Is he just hanging out [...]

We’ve already asked whether Misty May Treanor is UvT Quality.  Apparently President Bush thinks voting is still open, because he went to check it out himself.

I think this is the first thing President Bush has done in a long time where we’re on the exact same page.  I’ve never seen anyone backhand dat ass before [...]

America is the greatest country on earth, right? Yeah, this is your country…

Honestly, is there anyone on that show America’s Got Talent who actually has any talent? My dog has more talent than that entire judging panel and those guests. Just terrible dude.
- Lake

I know I’m crazy late but I would be completely remiss if I didn’t comment on Jenna Bush’s wedding (shouts to Will) over the weekend. Now I can’t lie, typically my reaction to those aesthetically unappealing Bush babes looks something like this:

Though I do find that look in Babs’ eye somewhat appealing in this [...]

Well, well, well.. I guess in the interest of being fair and balanced (as if that exists anywhere) we should post on John McCain’s big win tonight. The very young John Mac went ahead and finally got that 1,191 delegate count needed to secure the Republican nomination.

And then Mike Huckabee conceded. Damn. [...]

Can some of you Green Party kooks tell me why this idiot Ralph Nader is running for President again?

Does this guy want the Republicans to win that badly? I mean, what, does Nader sit around and think of different ways he can undermine his own stated political objectives?

“I know, why don’t we espouse a [...]

As we officially go into the last year of the worst presidency in the short history of this nation, Americans can at least take some solace in the fact that we won’t have to hear this bumbling clown mangle the English language while he simultaneously mangles all relevant facts in this particular forum.

Dubyah, gave his [...]

Ole Rog released a “personal” youtube denial today. It’s so “from the heart,” folksy and completely unscripted, peep it:

Don’t you love the edit job they did? And that wasn’t scripted or anything, sheyut, who am I kidding. The only thing missing from that joint was a teleprompter and an unemployed writer’s union [...]

Is anyone shocked that Dubyah with his “Git er dun” approach to foriegn policy and intelligence gathering, would get yet ANOTHER claim of weapons capability wrong?

I mean, honestly, would you trust this cat to run your summer lemonade stand? But yet yall voted for the fool…TWICE. At any rate, add this to his [...]

And now his past is coming after him. Meet gay man and half (black bear) about Washington, DC, David Phillips, he’s decided to ahem ‘come out’ and say what he knows about Larry Craig and his underground sexual trysts with men. Only this time it’s not foot positions, drifting fingers, and [...]

When the Star Wars Prequels came out, we all knew where it was going to end up.  Aniken was going to become Darth Vader, he was going to have twins, Luke and Leia, with Amidala who was going to die in child birth, the Jedi were going to be exterminated, Yoda was going into hiding, [...]

After a week of face slappities and Belichick ego smackities the New England Patriots coach silenced some of his critics on Sunday with a convincing win over the AFC rival San Diego Chargers. As far as we know, Bill didn’t cheat for this win, but then again, you never can tell…

(Look at Bill in his [...]

I’m not a big Fall Out Boy fan, in fact, I couldn’t name a single song of theirs if my life depended on it.

At least I couldn’t until yesterday. But now I feel like this song, “This Aint a Scene, it’s an Arms Race Remix“, is straight firah!!!! The live version of [...]

Another W flunky is out of the White House. First Rove, now young Al.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finally offered his resignation today, he’ll be leaving on September 17th (ohh, so soon?). I’ll kind of miss the guy. I know it just turned the Republican’s stomachs to have to take up for a [...]

We finally learned on Wednesday why Karl Rove retired….Did he suddenly grow a heart and take accountability for his horrible blunderings/strategizing over the lives of Hurricane Katrina victims? Nooo, that’s not it. Was it the realization that he completely F’d up this “little” debacle known as the War in Iraq? Nah, we [...]

Karl Rove decided to call it quits from the White House staff to being to steal another election errrrrr get some payback money in the private sector eeerrrrrr teach and write in his twilight years of his life.

If only that idiot Dubyah would follow in his footsteps. Seriously, how much damage can one man [...]

In a turn of events that shocked ones of people, George Dubyah Bush aka “Worst President Ever” did the unthinkable and commuted the 30 month sentence of his boy’s boy, Scooter Libby late Monday night. When asked to explain why he choose to hook his accomplice up Bush responded with this:

Oh yeah, nothing says [...]

Hey, usually I keeps my thoughts with my paper and the ladies, but I just had to post on this topic. Today on Capitol Hill, Monica Goodling, a former United States government lawyer and political appointee in the administration of Dubyah had to testify (Eeeeeeye wanna testifyyyy).

(She sure does have some purrty hair…can’t lie)
Chick [...]