Rihanna In a Loose Outfit, But Somehow it is Tight Too
Posted by Brock Hardon | Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

I know, I know.  Brock, what is up with the Rihanna obsession?  You named her UvT Lady of the year, you drop her on the site every three weeks, you even pumped her up for actual music.  Well I can’t help it.  She continues to impress and surprise.  Like this for instance.  She shows up [...]

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Rihanna Still Can’t Dance, But She’s Got the Only Move That Matters On Lock
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, February 12th, 2010

Look you know Rihanna can’t dance.  We even wrote a whole post about it back in the day.  She knows her limitations though, and so she made up for it in pure buck nakedness and effort and still took UvT lady of the year.  Well she’s got a new video out and she might not [...]

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Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me About This?!?!
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, February 5th, 2010

Have you seen this?

no, not the fights, they kinda suck.  Florian is a good fighter, but Gomi better bring his A-Game because Florian rips through any lightweight without a belt around his waist.  Then Nelson is just a fatboy who isn’t terribly exciting to watch.  You’ve got to take a look in the bottom right [...]

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Dov Charney From American Apparel is (still) a Genius
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, January 29th, 2010

My open admiration for Dov Charney is well chronicled.  The man is a genius.  Not only has he figured out how to convince people to like his slightly expensive, old school gear.  He’s also doing it with fair wages and American made.  His real genius though?  Is not giving a damn along the way.  As [...]

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Beyonce Has the Best Thighs in the Business
Posted by Brock Hardon | Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I’m not gonna lie, my powers of assology sometimes surprise even me.  For instance, I was surfing the net a few days ago when I came across a picture that was literally this size.

Thought #1: Damn, that chick is thick.
Thought #2: That has to be Beyonce.  No one else has legs like that.  I was [...]

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Coco T is Ridiculous: Someone Please Stop Her
Posted by Brock Hardon | Thursday, December 17th, 2009

I don’t know what kind of conversations go on in the T family, but they seem to have a challenge understanding where they fit in the world.  Sure, Ice T had a good gimmick back in the day.

You gotta respect a permed out, West Coast gangster rapper who starred in New Jack City.  But Ice [...]

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Anyone Else Thirsty? I Need Some Orangina
Posted by Brock Hardon | Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Now normally I don’t hit you with a mid-day update, but this is too good to wait.  Who comes up with this stuff, who signed off on this, and can I have a job.

At first only the clapping sounds were unexpected, but then the full on ass-clappities just blew me away. Some CGI dude was [...]

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Under Cover Freak: Katie Couric
Posted by Brock Hardon | Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

I’m not going to lie, Katie Couric is the only reason the Today show was remotely bearable back in the day.  I’m usually a Sportscenter guy in the morning anyway, but sometimes you need the news.  Local news is all murders, accidents, local scandal and weather, so I need a little national perspective every once [...]

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UvT Quality: Rosa Acosta
Posted by Brock Hardon | Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Sometimes naming a lady UvT Quality is a question.  Something I really need to think about.  That is not the case here.  Rosa Acosta is certified bad.

She is like a sexier Cassie to me.  Pretty face, bad body, Rosa Acosta has it all.  This is the mildest picture in this collection too…so…you’ve been warned, scroll [...]

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UvT Quality? Nicki Minaj
Posted by Brock Hardon | Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Man, people have been begging Lake and I to take a look at Nicki Minaj.  G the Intern hit us up everyday for about a week.  Running up in the spot like “y’all see this?”, “is she bad?”, “can she rap?”, “did you see angle 2″?  Well damn G, I guess after all the hard [...]

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UvT Quality Hall of Fame: Halle Berry
Posted by Brock Hardon | Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

Has anyone been fine for as long as Halle Berry?  I can’t remember a time in my life when Halle Berry was not the baddest chick on earth.  Jungle Fever came out in 1991.  She was even fine as a crackhead back in the day.  I was just a youngin, but I knew a good [...]


Prancer is Kinda Bad
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, October 9th, 2009

I’m reality TV junkie, but even I can admit that the VH1 version of reality TV, especially the “I Love” shows are complete garbage.  Flavor of Love was a joke, but it was actually pretty entertaining, and it gave us Hoopz, so not a complete loss.  (Although it also gave us New York, so you [...]


Rihanna is still bringing the Sexy
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, October 2nd, 2009

Did anyone else see this?

You gotta appreciate a chick who will come out of the house pretty much butt as naked.  Those J’s are strapped up and fighting for respectability out here, the thighs are about to bust free.

This dress verifies (as if we needed it) those pictures from the hotel bathroom.  Because that is [...]

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Newsflash: Rihanna is Still Sexy
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, September 4th, 2009

Rihanna is going high fashion in Italian Vogue.  Ever since Rihanna got butt naked on those camera phone pictures every picture she takes looks good to me.  She might look a little crazy in these joints, but she is greased up and half butt naked.

You can’t really tell what she’s working with, but as I [...]

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Don’t Call it a Comeback! Brit is Still Right
Posted by Lake Arlington | Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Not much to write about here today.  Oh, there was Britney Spears’ bikini arse piece that kinda stuck out in the HNIC’s mind…..(yep, Head Nilla in Charge, that’s me).  Peep it:

Dammit if that lil side loop-buckle aint crying out for reinforcements!!! Jeez.   Sleek like a Jaguar… And I’m not talking about Range Rover Jr. Jr. [...]


(Wo)Man Up Monday: Gina Carano
Posted by Brock Hardon | Monday, August 17th, 2009

I think this is the first Woman Up Monday.  I’m going to have to go for the formerly undefeated, caught an ass whoopin’, but is still the baddest chick in MMA, Gina Carano.

I know it, she doesn’t even look like a fighter, but on Saturday she took on Cris Cyborg in the first ever female [...]

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UvT Quality: Suelyn Medeiros
Posted by Brock Hardon | Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

I don’t remember where I found this chick, but I grabbed these pictures because she is bad as hell.  Hands down UvT quality from the jump.

Sure, she looks like your everyday bad chick right here.  The J’s are a little high and tight, so they might be fake, but she’s cute and looking thick.  You [...]

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Unexpected Arse No More! Mena Suvari is Back
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, July 10th, 2009

There are lots of reasons to love summer.  But I just found one more.  Last Summer I hit you with Assology 103: Unexpected Ass.  Now I come to find out that Mena here goes on vacation every summer, and she still brings the heat.  Let’s start with the mystery shot from the grassy knoll.

Damn.  We’re [...]

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Serena Williams: Oh My Damn
Posted by Brock Hardon | Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Serena Williams didn’t make it in the French Open today, so she’ll have to wait for the next Grand Slam event to add another trophy to her case.  More importantly, I came across this picture of her.

Iooooon’t know.  As the resident assologist, I’m gonna have to call B.S. on this one.  While his chick has [...]

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To Boldly Go Where No Assologist Has Gone Before…
Posted by Brock Hardon | Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

My study of Assology has lead me to many things.  I’ve perfected my craft and my studies over many years.  But the internets have shattered the natural world.  First, I have to adjust the WGTS up to 9 because of this chick.  Now this.  There is apparently a Panamanian tribe of thick tailed cricket fans.  [...]

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Thick White Woman Alert! Six aka Jenna Von Oy
Posted by Brock Hardon | Monday, May 4th, 2009

Yall remember Six from Blossom.

Well maybe you don’t, but if you did catch the show a few times and had a good eye, you saw something a little bit different about her from day 1.

Bang!  Correct.  And it’s always been there.  Not convinced?  F*ck angle two, I’m about to give you angles 2-8, in all [...]

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Correction: The White Girl Tail Scale Now Goes To 9!
Posted by Brock Hardon | Friday, May 1st, 2009

The work of an assologist is never done.  Always searching, always finding new ways to turn hypothesis into theory.  My life’s work has lead to the development of the Us Versus Them patented White Girl Tail Scale, or WGTS for short.  You will remember that the WGTS works on a scale of 1-8, as it [...]

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Jessica Biel: Oh My Damn
Posted by Brock Hardon | Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Now there are plenty of places that you can get the nude pics of Jessica Biel from Powder Blue.  There can’t be a worse feeling than agreeing to appear as a topless stripper in a movie, the first time you show your J’s on film…and end up getting that joint released STRAIGHT to DVD.  Ouch.  [...]

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Say it aint so: Kentucky GRILLED Chicken?
Posted by Lake Arlington | Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Dude, I can’t believe after all these years KFC done gone KGC…that doesn’t even sound right.

Really, Kentucky grilled chicken?  What, the Colonel suddenly got a conscience or something?

Let me just enumerate a fraction of the issues I have with Kentucky going b*tch on the preparation of their birds.
1.  Aren’t they about 15 years late on [...]


She’s A Rudy! A Cosby With A Booty!
Posted by Brock Hardon | Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Damn homey.  Everyone was up on that Cosby show back in the day, I was more of a Denise dude at the time (and a Whitley dude after that), but now?  That Young Rudy has really come to the forefront as a real winner.  Here’s a pic from her 30th birthday.

We’ve got a winner people.  [...]

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