I’ve done it.  I’ve completed my magnum opus.  I’ve written a lot, but nothing has summarized my life’s work like this.  Assology all boiled down in one place.  Inspiration struck and I brought the message back to Us Versus Them.

I present the Ten Ass Commandments.  For those of you not familiar with my inspiration, please [...]

This is way too good.  While Sarah Palin has managed to cycle herself into obscurity for the moment (other than the million people who want to use her to plug the oil spill in the Gulf).  But do you remember the most awkward family moment in the history of American politics?

Back in the wild days [...]

There are rules about strippers that must be followed.
1. Never feed them after midnight (also never eat at the strip club)
2. Never get them wet.
3. Never expose them to bright light.
The third rule is actually the most important here.  Club lighting is very important you see.  Because in the strip club all you see is [...]

Facebook is good for a few things.  Keeping up with people you normally wouldn’t see or stay in touch with, having conversations with everyone you know at the same time, networking, and keeping tabs on your ex-girlfriends.  Sure there are lots of reasons to do it.  See if she is still looking good.  Checking out [...]

Hell no.
You think JFK wasn’t hitting Marilyn Monroe?  You think he would have apologized to the world while he looked sad for hitting the baddest woman on the planet?  That is nothing but a lie.  Look, Bill Clinton gets caught slumpbusting with Monica Lewinsky, yeah, that shit is embarrassing.  I’d want to blame that one [...]

My man MRod hit me with this in my twitter in box this morning.  Too good to pass up.

Her text messages have been blowing up ever since.
-Brock

LeBron just can’t win. First, he gets dismissed from the second round of the playoffs. Then he catches a Man Up Monday. Now it just keeps getting worse. The people of Cleveland decided to put together a little video on how they really felt about him. I think it is [...]

Have you ever done something, and you thought it was really hot when you did it?  You thought you looked really cool, or were being really funny, or you were rocking that hat?  But then you look back or see it in a picture it doesn’t quite come out the way you thought it would?  [...]

Watching Sugar Shane vs. Mayweather this weekend reminded me of watching boxing back when it was really entertaining.  The best fights to watch were from a flyweight named Prince Naseem Hamed.  For the record, flyweight is 112 pounds.  I’m thinking it is kind of hard to be a badass at 112, but somehow Prince Naseem [...]

Hold on tight UK fans, you just went from arguably the #1 most talented school in College Basketball to a squad that just hit up the Us Versus Them summer pickup squad to see if we wanted to rip the “D” and the “E” off of our National Championship jerseys and run with UK next [...]

Aw man, Tiger can’t catch a break.  He laid low for over three months.  Kept his ass in tail rehab for the entire time, dropped a quick pres conference and thought he was going to come back to the Masters nice and clean.  Not so fast.  One of his chicks was hanging back and waiting [...]

People forget that John Edwards got his sex scandal on before Tiger Woods.  (Is John Edwards also a sex addict?)  Can you imagine if this guy was actually President or if he was in the home stretch to with the office when this came out?  It would have been the wildest story ever.  But instead, [...]

Maybe not WAG, but she is his baby momma and now I know how she got the job.  Her Name is Royce Reed.

Aw man, she was a Magic dancer too?  This is the worst baby mama story ever.  Everyone knows you can’t look at your own dancers, that is the #1 rule.

But no, Dwight didn’t [...]

Everyone always wants to talk about the worlds dumbest criminals so you need to give a shoutout when a criminal outsmarts the cops.

Now I don’t know if that is going to get him off, but without the demand note, they may not be able to prove that he made the demand.  I hope he chewed [...]

Preface:
Best.  Sex.  Tape.  EVA!!!!
Let me just say as a starter, this is a MUST SEE Sex Tape because both these babes really….I mean REALLY know how to handle themselves.  Holy smokes.  They look alike but believe me, there is a ring leader and her name is Anya Ayoung Chee aka Miss Trinidad & Tobago!!!!  But [...]

Your boy Brock is from the ATL.  I ain’t gonna lie the ATL has great things, but it also has some terrible things.  Atlanta is a great city, it’s got everything you want.  It’s got style, it’s got swagger, great sports, it is a spot with its own identity.

On the other side, I’m not afraid [...]

 I always wondered why former U.S. Presidents were still called “Mr. President” after they left office.  I just figured it was kinda like “coach” where they never lost their status, but it was a casual thing.  If I ran into my high school track coach and he told me to run two miles around the [...]

I guess it’s true what they say, when it rains, it hurricanes.  A Rod just got outed for f*cking with hoes.

Look, the more I reset it back to Ashley Dupre, the more I realize that she really was a decent piece of tail for Eliot.  Let’s review a bit.

haaaaa, boy, this was back in the [...]

I never got down with the grill movement, but it sure made Paul Wall famous for a good 15-16 minutes.

We knew about the gold tooth from back in the day, and Ca$h Money definitely used to hit cats with the grills:

But this goes waaay back.  The ancient Mayans were apparently old school pimps, because look [...]

Everyone has thought about it, and according to the statistics, 40% of people have done it.  I’m talking about getting into an office relationship.  Banging a coworker.  Cuttin where you eat.  And if 40% of people have done it, that means about 20% of them did it in the office. Probably in your cube.  Or [...]

Yooo, I always wondered how they picked these babes.  I just figured they went in the back, handled their casting couch bitniz and then let the good ones cut a check on video day.  But nah, they keep this thing classy…thick too.

I’m in the wrong profession.
- Lake

I know everyone has covered Barack ….errrrrr….President Obama’s pimped out new Cadillac, but you know we’ve got to hit you with a whole new perspective.

Forget all the details.  I just like the way Barack is pimpin in that back seat.  Let’s you know he’s got legroom to spare.  Big smile like he’s enjoying it too.
-Brock

And by the champ, I mean the champ of saying something completely crazy.  He really says it in the most sincere way possible.  I think at this point, my man is afraid of himself.  Mike Tyson is the subject of a new documentary film that just premiered at Sundance, and the word on the street [...]

Meet Natalie Dylan.

Cute girl, right?  No angle 2, she’s not famous, so why are we talking about her you ask?  Because she is selling her virginity to the highest bidder.  What’s virginity go for these days?  I’m no specialist, but last time I was involved with a transaction of this type, I think it came [...]

Pacman Jones is who we thought he was.  After making it rain in the club, being arrested, suspended, given a last chance, then a last, last chance, Pacman Jones finally got cut by the Dallas Cowboys today.  I know, I know, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time…nah homey…he was in [...]