This weekend I was working on the Ten  Ass Commandments, and I’ve finished laying down these hot lyrics.  But then something started firing in on the hotline and we had some breaking news that is pushing everything else to the back burner.  What was the breaking news?  Apparently Christina Milian is recovering from her breakup [...]

I don’t know when Kim Kardashian made her deal with the devil, or how she is able to rise to a new peak of sexy every 4-5 months but she does it somehow.  I’m not going to question my own eyes.  This is not a studio pic.  This is a woman walking into a wedding [...]

I’ve got some new heat for Us Versus Them.  Now, I heard this song in the background a few times, but when I really put it in the lab, I found out Ke$ha was really bringing that heat.  Let’s just run this Tik Tok as soundtrack to the rest of the post.

Now when I heard [...]

I talked about the American Apparel contest a few weeks ago and the time for submissions is over.  Of course if there are any women who feel the need to enter a best bottom contest, please feel free to let me know.  But here is the winner for the internet voting.

Dammit, I can’t argue with [...]

My open admiration for Dov Charney is well chronicled.  The man is a genius.  Not only has he figured out how to convince people to like his slightly expensive, old school gear.  He’s also doing it with fair wages and American made.  His real genius though?  Is not giving a damn along the way.  As [...]

As the tail has evolved and grown, people have become confused.  As the chief practitioner of assology, there are some common misconceptions I need to clear up.  The term “thick” has been grossly misused, misunderstood, and misapplied.  I had to conduct an in depth survey to try to help define the boundaries of thickness so [...]

Oliver Wrist aka Nickel Plated Bama found this chick a few weeks ago and went on and declared her the new day whooty.

I have to admit, that waist to tail ratio is completely bananas.  She probably had to get the J’s done just so she didn’t look completely ridiculous.  Those hips are crazy though.  But [...]

The work of an assologist is never done.  Always searching, always finding new ways to turn hypothesis into theory.  My life’s work has lead to the development of the Us Versus Them patented White Girl Tail Scale, or WGTS for short.  You will remember that the WGTS works on a scale of 1-8, as it [...]

This picture is a classic example of what my boy Brock calls “Good from afar, but far from good”:

Ha…  I mean, how much is this babe hiding with that right hand?

Plenty.
Dude, that first pic is like the quintessential “hold your breath” pic.  I mean, her spleen is crying for freedom right here.  Damn, it’s gotta [...]

Mena Suvari is still one of the great ass mysteries of the world.  She’s never been accused of hitting the ass gel, she hasn’t used her powers for evil, and yet the people haven’t caught on to the kind of heat she’s bringing.  I mean, have you seen this?

Well, Mena is back low profile style, [...]

Maaaaan.  Hollywood is a dirty, dirty game.  It really chews cats up and spits em out.
So here’s my man Chris Tucker from his greatest role ever.  Smokey from Friday.

Well Chris mad a few movies, made some crazy loot off of Rush Hour, and basically retired.  I’ve actually been wondering what he’s been doing all this [...]

We all saw it coming via the various videos and MTV appearances, but Britney is definitely back.

Dude, I’m not sure how she does it.  But Brit’s stomach to hip game is some of the best in the business.  It must just be structural.

Dude… I guess it’s just me.  That hip is crazy to me.

Ahh, you [...]

Serena Williams is a physical specimen.  I mean her momma might be half reindeer for real.  Sometimes I can’t tell if it is all right, or if it is all wrong.

I mean that is either the build of every video chick ever, or a babe that might just be way too skrong.  Well now she [...]

Funny that young Edward had to go to St. Barts, a very colorful island, to go ahead and get his white chocolate fetish on.  So much for Eddie getting him a “zebra b*tch”…  yikes, his words NOT MINE…in fact, just to keep my ass safe and unbeaten, let’s go ahead and run that Eddie Raw [...]

There’s little more humorous to me than the born again gay chick.  Yall know what i mean.

The born again gay babe is the chick who gives up the dack for lent or who converts a tickle/pillow fight into a cat fest and then just stays on that side of the plate once she realizes how  [...]

I didn’t talk about this Friday because I really wasn’t inspired.  After all, Halloween is the worst of all holidays in my humble view.

It’s just useless.  I mean, at least St. Patrick’s Day has liquor.  Anyway, I wasn’t at all excited for Halloween until I saw the one thing I do like about it, those [...]

Hey, I’m all for diversity in all things, including thickness, but I think I might have finally seen too much of a damn good thing.  I mean, what could a mere mortal do with this?

Dude, that’s a lot of azz and yes, I’m quite sure the airbrushers and photoshoppers were working on overtime to try [...]

You see the title; you know who the author is okay?  I’m fed up hot dammit.  Who in the world started telling fat biches they were sexy?
Now don’t get me wrong, when I say fat, I’m not talking about voluptuous or even a bit rotund.  Truth is, I like a little thickness in a woman:

Can you say [...]

I can admit that it’s in my nature to hate. That’s fine, but there’s really something wrong with the Ms. England competition.

Hey. I know what you’re thinking and I’m not trying to fuck with the already ridiculous body image of my lovely ladies, but somebody has to say something. But before I [...]

You know how Lake and I do it here at Us Versus Them. We give you exactly what you want. Gotta stay up on the new ladies, give you all the fresh angles, hit you with your daily chick fix. Peep out miss Katie “Jordan” Price.

If you do a Google search [...]

I’m not sure I get this video concept. Maybe it’s just a snippet. Either way, it’s like too much and not enough all wrapped up into one.
[vodpod id=ExternalVideo.478490&w=425&h=350&fv=v%3DnHNiVRx819feqU56%26ccolor%3D]
Also, I can’t decide if that chick in the video was just thick up on em or Superthick, push back away from it.

See what [...]

I know I’m a little late on this one, but that Superbowl Halftime show was the worst. I know Janet whipped out the most famous right tit-tay in the history of television, but Tom Petty?  Do we really need to be that safe?  Here is the funny thing about the Tom Petty performance.  [...]

Ready or not, the Flavor of Love 3 premier is coming to VH1 on February 11, 2008:

I know a lot of you hate this show, but I enjoy it. As such, I’m going to give you my completely superficial rundown of the Flavor of Love 3 girls based solely on their glamor shots and [...]

Now see, you start writing assology posts and paying homage to asymmetrical thickness and what do you get? This:

I’m told this is Ashanti’s sister, Not-Ashanti…. Awww, Brock warned us against the perils of the superthick chick, but somehow, everybody out there just didn’t hear him. Listen, you should love your body and [...]

Previously super thick chick Deelishis from Flavor of Love 2 fame is featured on Smooth Girl Magazine.

I love the Smooth line of magazines. They don’t bother with articles or hackneyed err witty lists of “Best places to get laid” like Maxim and FHM. No, they just go straight for the jugular, providing [...]