This UvT thing has gotten so deep I forget how easy it is supposed to be.  Us.  Versus.  Them.  Easy concept, so we are taking it back to its roots.  Big ass pictures to let you know how to tell Team Us from Team Them.  So here we go.  I’m giving you a two-fer on [...]

I had to make up for one of my transgressions yesterday but putting up a quick Kenya Moore shot to cleanse the proverbial palette.  I guess I did the right thing because it united two rivals in the comments, so I had to post a few more.

Now see, I understand that Smooth Magazine stands for [...]

This weekend I was working on the Ten  Ass Commandments, and I’ve finished laying down these hot lyrics.  But then something started firing in on the hotline and we had some breaking news that is pushing everything else to the back burner.  What was the breaking news?  Apparently Christina Milian is recovering from her breakup [...]

I don’t know when Kim Kardashian made her deal with the devil, or how she is able to rise to a new peak of sexy every 4-5 months but she does it somehow.  I’m not going to question my own eyes.  This is not a studio pic.  This is a woman walking into a wedding [...]

UvT favorite Kim Kardashian got a wax figure at Madame Tussauds last week while I was out of commission.  Let’s take a look.

That is actually pretty terrible.  Doesn’t really look like her to me.  The face must be from 2008, the J’s are high and tight, the arms are the photoshopped version.  But you know [...]

This is the last post of Assology Week.  The final analysis.  This breaks down the difference between thick and WAAAAY TOO THICK.  Let me guarantee this is a comprehensive study.
Thick Chicks vs. Fat Chicks.
-Brock

If you are going to call yourself Jessica Rabbit, you have a lot to live up to.  I don’t know where Roger Rabbit falls on the UvT scale of 1-10 for men, but Jessica was bad for a cartoon.

So when these internet chicks think they are rocking some phenomenal curves, they hit themselves with the [...]

Us Versus Them isn’t just about Sports, Talkin’ Shit and Booty.  We’ve got culture too.  J. Scott Campbell has always been a genius.  He did work on Gen-13, he did work on Danger Girl, and he has one of the most distinctive comic styles of the last 20 years.  He has a very distinctive comic [...]

When Lisa Raye hit the scene back in Players Ball, I assumed that she was damn near playing her own life story.  She was a really, really convincing stripper.  Now I am a black man, but I have never actually bought an issue of “Black Men” magazine.  But looking at this cover, I can’t reconcile [...]

Usually the tenets of Assology demand that I only discuss a certain type of ass.  Assology 101 covered the basics.  The Negative Arse, the Muffin Top, and the Athletic Ass, and the Stacked too tight in those jeans ass.  Assology 103 covered the Unexpected Ass…like Mena Suvari.  But Kim Kardashian just showed up in some [...]

According to my stats the top two searches are for “Nicki Minaj” and “Erykah Badu Ass”.  1. Now you know the kind of company you all keep.  2. I guess it is good to know why people like you.  Since I already covered Erykah’s tail piece a few days ago, I guess Nicki can get [...]

I’ve got some new heat for Us Versus Them.  Now, I heard this song in the background a few times, but when I really put it in the lab, I found out Ke$ha was really bringing that heat.  Let’s just run this Tik Tok as soundtrack to the rest of the post.

Now when I heard [...]

People on Twitter and hitting me on the email have been positively clamoring over the new Erykah Badu “Window Seat” video.  I was wondering why, and then I heard she got buck naked in it.

so you know I had to watch…

I don’t know about you, but I felt a little cheated by the blurryness.  Does [...]

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned here at least once that my boy Lake has a slightly unhealthy Brandy obsession.  He is still waiting for her to make an appearance in Kang Magazine or make a late Playboy run like Stacey Dash where she gets completely buck naked, but until then we will have to settle [...]

I’ve got an epic post brewin’ that needs one more chart before I’m done.  Can’t make it happen until the morning, so I’m going to do what I always so in this situation.  Throw up a random bad chick.  What way you can’t really be mad at me, right?  The always pleasing, and runner up [...]

Lake didn’t have any explanation to go with these photos.  I think I know why.  He found the best looking pics of Coco T ever.  No further words needed.
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Okay, I lied.  What the hell is going on in that upper crack area?  There is some sort of booty shelf at the top that is completely [...]

I know, I know.  Brock, what is up with the Rihanna obsession?  You named her UvT Lady of the year, you drop her on the site every three weeks, you even pumped her up for actual music.  Well I can’t help it.  She continues to impress and surprise.  Like this for instance.  She shows up [...]

If UvT existed in the late 90’s, I’m pretty sure every other day we would have been dropping these.

JLo was a force of nature.  I’m talking Diddy JLo, not Ben Affleck JLo and definitely not Mark Anthony JLo.  Can you take a moment to look at that picture up there?  I almost forgot about the [...]

I talked about the American Apparel contest a few weeks ago and the time for submissions is over.  Of course if there are any women who feel the need to enter a best bottom contest, please feel free to let me know.  But here is the winner for the internet voting.

Dammit, I can’t argue with [...]

I’m not gonna lie, my powers of assology sometimes surprise even me.  For instance, I was surfing the net a few days ago when I came across a picture that was literally this size.

Thought #1: Damn, that chick is thick.
Thought #2: That has to be Beyonce.  No one else has legs like that.  I was [...]

You know we bring the jokes, we bring the politics, and we make sure we call out all of Them, but as the resident assologist you know we also have to bring the ladies.  So you know we’ve got to have an award for UvT Quality chick of the Year.  In my mind there is [...]

Ever since I met Melyssa Ford, I knew she was a beast.  But who would of thought that she could make that crazy body even more freaky.

Dude, pretty crazy.  And just in case you don’t think there’s depth to that roundness.  Think again.

Damn.  Anyway, I remember this clown from the Real Housewives of ATL show.  [...]

I know there is a Lady Gaga controversy over whether or not she has an extra….uh Fail Tail in the front, so to speak.  You know you are dealing with a crazy chick when she’s willing to rock a FUPA on purpose.  Now I don’t know if Gaga can sing “Have a Baby By Me [...]

Man, people have been begging Lake and I to take a look at Nicki Minaj.  G the Intern hit us up everyday for about a week.  Running up in the spot like “y’all see this?”, “is she bad?”, “can she rap?”, “did you see angle 2″?  Well damn G, I guess after all the hard [...]

It’s Friday, so why not get semi-NSFW. This Vida Guerra workout video is old, but good. It’s fairly aggressive. Check it out.

Damn.  Let’s get it.  Somehow that tail never gets old to me.
- Lake