One of my boys once told me that he liked to date Indian girls. When I asked him why, he said it was because they “look just like hot light skinned black girls. Brown skin, long straight hair, European features, they already have the total package everyone works so hard to find.”
I laughed, and disagreed, [...]
It was a special edition. Custom made.
Oh, wait, I found it.
Dammit, I need to learn not to leave those things laying around.
-Brock
Tiger Woods had a single car accident on Thanksgiving morning and his life hasn’t been the same since. Do you remember when you first heard about it? When everyone thought Tiger was unconscious and bleeding from his mouth? When we didn’t know how bad the accident was or if he would ever be able to [...]
From the Us Versus Them department of Randomness I present the Shocker Winter Glove.
The Shocker presents an interesting UvT conundrum. On one hand, if you don’t know what the Shocker is, you probably are not one of Us. On the other hand if you actually ever perform the shocker other than by mistake, or, if [...]
Now see, you try to do something for the people, and some big celebrity comes along and jacks your style. Lake and I have been working on the 100% guaranteed Ho Brand Condoms for years and finally hit the streets two months ago. You know we stay between you and those hos. We had the nilla please [...]
I know there is a Lady Gaga controversy over whether or not she has an extra….uh Fail Tail in the front, so to speak. You know you are dealing with a crazy chick when she’s willing to rock a FUPA on purpose. Now I don’t know if Gaga can sing “Have a Baby By Me [...]
Is it ok to wear white after Labor Day?
How about now? thx
- Lake
I’ve been out of the mix this weekend, but when I started bumping around the internet I found out that Sammy Sosa went to the Latin Grammy’s this weekend. You remember Sammy don’t you? He was one of the top homerun sluggers during the Balco era of baseball stats.
I’m not gonna lie, I saw Sammy [...]
There is one thing about being an asshole. You can be a little bit of a jerk and get through life okay. But you are a big, notorious asshole, everyone is waiting for you to make one little slip, and they are going to take you out. Say what you want to about Rush Limbaugh. [...]
Last time we saw Floyd Mayweather, he was winning like this.
You know he is a winner in the ring, but now Floyd let’s you know he is winning in every field of human endeavor. Floyd was seen out with the finest chick from TLC (I know you thought it was T-Boz, but you would be [...]
So what do you get when you take that turrible Chris Brown interview on Larry King and mix it up with the Run This Town video?
Affion Crockett is a little over the top, but this joint is actually pretty good. That Rihanna accent at the end is killing me, as is the Chris Brown dance.
While the internet Birthday shout is probably the lowest (not to mention effortless) form of human expression, I would be remiss if I did not shout out my main man (Ali G finger snap) Brock aka Brick on this day of his birth.
Now I know what my loyal UvTers are thinking, “if he can post [...]
When you are T-Pain and Jay-Z declares the end to the way you make a living, what do you do?
Do you curl up into a ball and die? Do you start to practice your singing so you no longer have to run autotune? Nah…you blow it up. You drop the auto tune app on iTunes [...]
But she’s got a black girl haircut.
What do you ask for when you go get a haircut? Let me get it long in the front with a part on the side with it real short in the back…but, you know…spikey. Oh and can you throw some highlights in it? Yeah, that’s perfect.
If she has black [...]
I understand that some inventions just aren’t going to make a lot of sense. I also understand that there are things just for the ladies that I don’t understand. I also understand that guys only think about sex all the time. Sometimes all of those things come together in odd ways, but that still doesn’t [...]
We already know that Facebook is evil, but now we’re going to have to talk about the fact that YouTube is evil too. Let’s peep the subject of this video, Gucci Mane.
Now, Gucci Mane is a fine rapper, he sounds like a fun guy. He’s got an iced out watch and the icey Bart Simpson [...]
Kanye doesn’t have a single out, Kanye doesn’t have an album out, Kanye has a kinda new video out, a sneaker that you can’t actually buy out, so it seems like he must be laying low. You know what though, I think Kanye has figured out how to win in ways we haven’t even began [...]
Damn Michael Jackson can’t catch a break. I mean this guy is basically self banned from America. He got sued by some Prince in Dubai that will force him to make a private Michael Jackson album. He sold out a concert in London, but something ain’t right on that joint, now his co-star from the [...]
I can’t even speak about this truly awful commercial, but it’s definitely a “when keeping it right goes wrong” situation:
(Shouts to Jay Blanco for sending me this), but even Dr. Martin Luther the King couldn’t find good in that.
Now I see where (and how) these hicks from the UNC get their fine furniture. Actually, this [...]
Remember last year when LeBron James and Giselle Bundchen appeared together on the cover of Vogue’s “best bodies” issue?
There was a lot of controversy because LeBron came off looking like a modern day King Kong simultaneously screaming and clutching his white woman. This would have gotten you shot on the spot just 60 years ago. [...]
I’ve been down with Mel B. since the old school Scary Spice days. I was peeping game way back then, and she was really that wild chick. So now it is like 15 years, one baby, a Spice Girls reunion and one run in with Eddie Murphy later so she can’t be right, can she?
Wrong…Wrong. [...]
Kanye may be crazy, but he’s not stupid. If you’ve ever read the Kanye Blog, you know he likes em thick and drops those “Where are you Yeezy?” joints every few days. In fact, he’s not crazy either because he just used that shag and that jean jacket to catch a model chick. Amber Rose.
Damn. [...]
Serena Williams is a physical specimen. I mean her momma might be half reindeer for real. Sometimes I can’t tell if it is all right, or if it is all wrong.
I mean that is either the build of every video chick ever, or a babe that might just be way too skrong. Well now she [...]
Michael Jackson just got sued, and just settled a wild lawsuit. Didn’t pay his bills? No. Getting at those kids again? Thank God, no. No this time he got sued because he promised to lay down some tracks for a Bahraini Shiek that asked him to record an album for a private record label. The [...]
Behold The B is back!! But only for a second. I know I’ve been absent for a while but Triple B and his team have been undercover for UvT. We took it to the battleground state of Ohio. The state that has been the deciding factor in the last two elections to find out out [...]
