She cleans up real nice, although the picture with all the stuffed animals is a little creepy.  At least she looks good.  Here’s something I didn’t realize about her…she changed her name.  I’m not sure when, and I don’t know why she chose a stripper name, but she used to be named “Lisa Druck”.  I’m thinking she probably changed it because when you plug “Lisa Druck” into Google, you get this:

I might change my name too behind that picture.  Rielle Hunter is that “I can’t believe you cheated on me you bastard” chick that makes your wife feel like she let herself go.  Lisa Druck is “I can’t believe you cheated on me with that tired looking bitch”.  Big difference.

So Rielle, broke down all the dirty secrets in her interview.  She said that all she did was whisper “you’re hot” to John Edwards and all of a sudden she found herself in his hotel room unable to resist his magnetism.  She also said she didn’t know who he was when she met him in 2006, which pretty much means she didn’t have a tv in 2004 when he was a vice presidential candidate, or she is lying her ass off.  She also claims that she wanted to help him because his public persona was fake and that she could see who he really was as soon as she met him.  She didn’t even want to have sex with him, she just wanted to spiritually integrate his persona.

Even John Edwards isn’t buying that B.S.

She also bought him a “Tiger Woods Special” hotline phone.  John Edwards needed her to do him a huge favor, huge, and not call him anymore.  Because Elizabeth Edwards got a hold of the batphone and called the only number on it one day and Rielle answered “hey baby”…that was pretty much it.

Another ridiculous aspect of this train wreck?  There still seems so be a sex tape floating out there.  There are a lot of reasons to make  sex tape, and there are even more reasons not to make a sex tape.  I’m pretty sure #1 on the “don’t make a sex tape” list is “I’m not having sex with my wife”.  All plausible deniability is pretty much shot when you are tapping that ass on video (unless you are R. Kelly).  This whole thing is just a complete debacle and I’m actually starting to feel sorry for this dude.

I’m guessing that stomach game is airbrushed, and the kid in the pic is a pretty low blow.  John Edwards step yo game up, your stuff is completely out of control.

-Brock

They say that there is no actual threat of physical harm.  That they aren’t actually hurting you.  I’m going to assume that you can pour water on that cloth for long enough to kill someone, but I guess the people asking the questions are playing by the “rules”.

So Playboy has a guy called the Lab Rat who agreed to be waterboarded.  Check out how that one went.

First of all that dude got his swagger stolen really quick.  Second, waterboarding must suck because he tapped out really fast.  It is just a matter of time before this gets incorporated into some fraternity initiation, especially with youtube clips that basically act like instructional videos.

Who invented this?  Was it a scientist, or a soldier with too much time on their hands?  Whoever came up with this is a crazy m*therfucker.

-Brock

ESPN:

Group Name: Us Versus Them

Password: Brock

-Brock

You have guys like Gil Arenas who went in the 2nd round and got a $100,000,000 contract.  Sure he blew it later and flamed out on injuries and gun charges, but he really stepped up.

But the NFL Draft is different.

The guys end up running around, jumping high, the all get 40 yard dash times, they hit stuff, all in one weekend.  It is actually amazing listening to coaches evaluate players.  They see crazy things about how an athlete stands or moves and can tell if they can even play the NFL game.  If a cornerback turns the wrong foot inside when he is dropping back into coverage, they know he loses half a beat and can’t cover an NFL Wide Receiver.  Then of course we get the always “leaked” results of the Wonderlic test.  Now for you who don’t know about the Wonderlic, it is 50 questions in 12 minutes.  So it is about speed as much as it is about knowing what the answers to the questions are.  Most people say it works well with quarterbacks because it shows that they can make quick decisions and recognize the answers based on the type of question quickly.  They want you to be able to quickly assess the situation and answer the questions.

So the questions aren’t made to be super hard, not to get all SAT on Us, but check out this sample question.

1. Look at the row of numbers below. What number should come next?

Please tell me all of Us know the answer to that question.  And I know the test is timed, but I’m hoping you banged that particular one out in about 7 seconds, and that is considering that it might take 5 seconds to read it.  So on the long list of Tim Tebow issues in the NFL is the fact that he got a 22 out of 50 on the test.

But what do you expect from a guy who wears Crocs and thinks that is a good thing to do with a baby?

There are harder questions though.

13. Three individuals form a partnership and agree to divide the profits equally. X invests $9,000, Y invests $7,000, Z invests $4,000. If the profits are $4,800, how much less does X receive than if the profits were divided in proportion to the amount invested?

That is actually hard.  You have to pay attention to make sure you don’t miss that “how much less” or you screw it up.  I’m just going to lay this out there…I feel like I would crush this test.  I’m talking 49 or 50, maybe a speed mistake holds me back.  The funny thing is that for everything else in the NFL combine, they treat these guys like football players.  They are doing bench presses, footwork drills, all of the things that football players do.  This test assumes that these dudes were actually paying attention in class.  Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard and got a 48, and there are a gang of cats who get a 11-15.  This test assumes these guys know math and logic games.  People always want to talk about how the SAT is culturally biased, this damn Wonderlic is not what football players know.  They know plays and how to get at these chicks on campus, not fractions and logic progressions.  For the skills to transfer, they actually have to know the subject at hand.  I bet they know how many natty lights each man gets when you have to split a case 4 ways.  They may even ask whether it is the extra large case with three extras.

So check out some sample questions on the test, how did you do?

http://ow.ly/1h3Fj

Separating Us from Them…

-Brock

He is also one of the smartest guys out there.  His vocabulary is exemplary.  He is one of those guys who doesn’t let you get away with saying something is “very unique” because it is either unique or it isn’t.  I’m not saying he’s a dick about it, he just uses words carefully…which is what makes this next video hilarious.

Somehow, Manny Pacquaio beat Clottey up so badly, Jim Lampley turned into Pops from Boomerang.

In fact, I might need to run that “My Love Goes Bang, Bang, Bang” by Pops Williams and the Temptones. You can make a bad R&B song out of anything.

I feel like R. Kelly could really make a decent remix of that.

-Brock

During the Oscars, Oprah was introducing Gabourey and said, “I know this is the first wonderful performance of a long, successful career”.  Now I didn’t go see Precious.  I feel like if I did I would have taken a picture of myself with my camera phone, posted it on UvT and done and entire “Come on Bruh!” post about how I shouldn’t have been in that movie.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Black people and Black cinema, but I haven’t seen a single solitary second of a clip of this movie that makes me feel like I want to see it.

But enough about me.

So it took me a while to figure out this chick was actually an actress, I thought the got the girl who the book was about to relive the issues for the movie.  I thought she was playing herself.  Howard Stern heard the same comment and said out loud what a lot of people were thinking.  “Exactly what other roles is she going to play?”

I’m not trying to be a weightist here, but isn’t she just going to get typecast.  Isn’t she gonna be “big friend”, or “funny sidekick” or “Aretha Franklin“.  Other than a dramatic story about a big girl who overcomes her problems, what are the other Oscar worthy projects she is going to work on?

Now I don’t think successful multi-millionaire radio guy needs to start a fight with brand new Oscar nominated actress, but isn’t this chick resigned to be in bad Tyler Perry movies for the rest of her career?  Maybe a TBS sitcom in 5 years?  Maybe I’ll be wrong, I hope I’m wrong.  But I’m thinking I’m probably not.  Maybe she can break out and surprise us all.  Big guys have a lot more of a chance to make it in Hollywood.  Here is the question, can she really play another role at this level?  Can she overcome the stereotype?

I know Howard Stern didn’t do it right, but someone, anyone, tell me what is next for this chick.

-Brock

Ol’ girl’s knee really buckles right there too.  She was smiling  and everything and really just not ready for that kick.  This guy is a real dick for that one, and apparently this is his “thing”.  Peep this one.

This dude is picking on little girls, and the best thing about him is that you know this is one of those dudes who steps into the octagon with an actual fighter and gets knocked the hell out in a real fight.  In fact, here he is fighting Shogun Rua.

Ha.  He got knocked the hell out with a left.  What a loser.  That first pic up top is still hilarious though.

-Brock

RAD OMEN – “Rad Anthem” from Nicholaus Goossen on Vimeo.

They needed to stick that landing and have the Colonel roll into KFC and cook them up something himself.

-Brock

Or if you are going to get “half crack” Whitney:

Or if you are going to get “full crack” Whitney:

But the best Whitney, the best Whitney, is when she made her first denial about buying crack.

Now isn’t that the most cracked out thing you’ve ever heard.  She even did the little hand motion when she asked for the receipts.  Only a crack head would think you get crack receipts.  Does she think her drug dealer files taxes too?  That is the greatest clip ever though.

-Brock

—————————————

———————————UPDATE————————-

Okay, I lied.  What the hell is going on in that upper crack area?  There is some sort of booty shelf at the top that is completely independent of the ass cheeks.  That ain’t right.  I’m done. -Brock

————————-END UPDATE———————————————–

-Lake