I’ve done it.  I’ve completed my magnum opus.  I’ve written a lot, but nothing has summarized my life’s work like this.  Assology all boiled down in one place.  Inspiration struck and I brought the message back to Us Versus Them.

I present the Ten Ass Commandments.  For those of you not familiar with my inspiration, please [...]

I realized last night that this had become unintentional ass week here at Us Versus Them.  That is different from Assology week, which was two weeks ago, or Ass appreciation week which occurs every week where the moon rises in the southern sky, whenever it rains, any week when Kim Kardashian leaves her house, and [...]

Now people are gonna think I’m wrong for this, but it has to be done.  What you have to realize is that this is a half compliment.  Mary J. Blige has a Mullet Booty.  What is a mullet booty you ask?
Business is the front:

Now let me make this clear…Real Love dropped in 1992.  That was [...]

Assology Week is coming to an end, but I’m still bringing you two classic posts to hold you down through the Holiday weekend.  I’m back on Man Up Monday and I’ll be all rested up and ready to bring the heat.  Until then, check out an instance where admiration of the booty goes too far.
Assology [...]

This is the last post of Assology Week.  The final analysis.  This breaks down the difference between thick and WAAAAY TOO THICK.  Let me guarantee this is a comprehensive study.
Thick Chicks vs. Fat Chicks.
-Brock

Ah, Tailonomics.  This takes Assology to the next level.  This Assology game goes to the next level.  Tailonomics lets you know there is a science to this booty game.
Assology 104 – Tailonomics.
-Brock

Rihanna made an early appearance on Us Versus Them.  This is back when her booty was still in question…before she hit the world with the buck nakedness.
Assology: Rihanna
And the follow up for clarification.
That is how she became the Magician Booty…now you see it, now you don’t.
-Brock

Mena Suvari snuck up on Us Versus Them and she got three posts devoted to her tail game.

Check em out.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
-Brock

It is time for the classics here at Us Versus Them, and nothing defines this place better than Dr. Brock Hardon’s exploration of the modern theory of Assology.  Go ahead and hit the Link to Learn yourself something.  The first appearance of the infamous “Negative Arse”.
Assology 101 – The Basics.
-Brock

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned here at least once that my boy Lake has a slightly unhealthy Brandy obsession.  He is still waiting for her to make an appearance in Kang Magazine or make a late Playboy run like Stacey Dash where she gets completely buck naked, but until then we will have to settle [...]

My open admiration for Dov Charney is well chronicled.  The man is a genius.  Not only has he figured out how to convince people to like his slightly expensive, old school gear.  He’s also doing it with fair wages and American made.  His real genius though?  Is not giving a damn along the way.  As [...]

Now see, I glorify the tail and someone had to go on ahead and take it too far.  They have taken my beloved tail crease and defiled it.

Whoever invented this thought it was such a good idea that they both wanted to get it out into the public and said that there was a “patent [...]

I don’t know what I was doing when I came across this chocolate beauty a few weeks ago but I have to share.

she is silky smooth and right, but it led me into a zone that I was unfamiliar with.  Her friend is thick…yet she’s packing the negative arse.  Peep it.

If I told you I [...]

I haven’t hit the faithful readers of Us Versus Them with a good Assology post in a long time, so this is long overdue.  Sometimes a tail is just unexplainable.  Sure, I usually focus on the spectacular tail, but there is so much variety out there that you really see something and you just don’t [...]

My study of Assology has lead me to many things.  I’ve perfected my craft and my studies over many years.  But the internets have shattered the natural world.  First, I have to adjust the WGTS up to 9 because of this chick.  Now this.  There is apparently a Panamanian tribe of thick tailed cricket fans.  [...]

I’ve already covered American Apparel and how wild they are.  They are still using sex to sell clothes, and no one is better.  So I was slumming through the internets when I came across this beauty.

Did you catch it?  Watch it again…
You catch it that time?
First of all, she’s got a double clutch booty.  I [...]

I’m completely convinced that most reality TV shows have straight ringers dropped in to make sure things turn out right.  Flavor of Love?  Drop in some actual strippers and hoes to keep things jumpin.  Survivor?  Drop in a few unofficial outdoorsmen to make sure these fools don’t end up sleeping outside huddled under some leaves [...]

Mena Suvari is still one of the great ass mysteries of the world.  She’s never been accused of hitting the ass gel, she hasn’t used her powers for evil, and yet the people haven’t caught on to the kind of heat she’s bringing.  I mean, have you seen this?

Well, Mena is back low profile style, [...]

Kim Kardashian comes under a lot of scrutiny out there in the world.  Even though we’re fans here, we’ve heard it all.  Is she really that cute?  Is her appeal just the fact that she has assets that are unique to her race?  Does she only have those assets because she’s packin the ass gel?  [...]

When the Whooty Part I dropped on Friday, you know the resident Assologist had to get into the lab and do the research for my people here at Us Versus Them.  I haven’t run the official background music in a while, so let’s rock that official, yet still bootleg video for Whooty.

So the chick’s real [...]

Yesterday I hit you with Jessica Biel who scored a perfect 8 on the WGTS (White Girl Tail Scale), and here is the Omega to her Alpha, Tara Reid.

Does the arse get more negative than that?  If she wasn’t bending over, I wouldn’t know the difference between her back and her thigh.  There is no [...]

Assology is not just a philosophy.  Tailonomics isn’t just rhetorical.  Sometimes you have to go out into the field, really take an anthropological approach to the study of assology.  I believe a major shift has occurred, an evolution that may change the landscape of natural tail pieces forever…
After much research, I present, the Muscle Butt!

Crikey!  [...]

That’s right, Professor Hardon had to take a long sabbatical after the hydrogel-gate scandal that shook the study of assology to its very foundation.  Fake Ass?  Say it ain’t so!  Let me tell you, I was shook!  I mean it is like telling a scientist that gravity no longer exists.  It made me question every [...]

I mentioned a few posts ago that I have a masters in Assology. It allows me to identify a tight booty from 20 paces. I can see it coming, identify it from any angle. Hell, tell me where a girl was born, her favorite food, and two hobbies and I can take a pretty good [...]