Now I don’t know why they are pretending that the only thing “coming out of the screen” is a tennis ball.  You know some clown in an edit suite is trying to figure out how to swing some 3D cack out of the screen at the audience.  Not to mention the inevitable money shot.  Sorry I don’t need to see strung out chicks in any more detail than necessary.  It is kinda like the zoo, the animals look cool, but if you get too close their kinda dirty and probably dangerous. 

Is there a worse idea?  Yes there is, the guy in the video that sells the 3D screen that doesn’t require glasses so your hands are free…uhhhhhhh, player, your hands are always free when you wear glasses, if you want to “tug on your yohnson”.  I guess they don’t get the sharpest technology guys to run the booth during porn week.  I also like the brother that said the best thing about the new technology was “tiddies and ass”.  Nice, that has been part of porn technology from the jump bruh.  Oh and you just played yourself by getting interviewed at a porn convention. 

Plus, everyone knows that the only porn technology that anyone is waiting on is virtual reality.   They can go on ahead and skip all the advances in tech until then.  If I want to see porn stars in 3D we already have that technology…it’s called a strip club.  Lake’s favorite place to hang out.

-Brock

Joaquin Phoenix announced today that he will no longer be making movies.  I know what you’re thinking…Noooooooooooo!  Not…the…guy who was….uhhhhh the Emperor in Gladiator and Johnny Cash.  Not him!  We are looking forward to at least another three relatively decent, semi-supporting actor performances from Joaquin Phoenix.

Look, I feel for Joaquin, or “Leaf” as he used to be known.  Was actually with his older brother River Phoenix in the Viper room when he overdosed.  That said, I believe this retirement about as much as I believed Jay-Z’s retirement.  I expect this dude to show up during Oscar season talking about Joaquin is retired, but Leaf is back!  Gladiator II in 2010!

Joaquin even gave everyone a little message last night for his retirement.

“Bye! Good”.  Nice.  I guess you can’t really expect a guy named Joaquin to be all there.  I guess he didn’t realize the fact that it is going to look different with his fists facing him when he wrote it versus his double fist salute here.  Come on bro get it together.

Well, if he needs something to do he can always join the Palin family.  He can join Trig, Track, Willow, Salmonella, Rumpus, and Spigot back in Alaska and go for sea plane rides this winter.

Happy Retirement Joaquin.  Your 401K and social security will start up in just 28 short years.

-Brock