So should you do it?  What are the rules?  What are the phases of the Office relationship?

Rule #1:  Don’t do it:

I know what you’re thinking.  She always looks at you in the office.  She gets a little too close in meetings.  She leans over your shoulder to look at the report on your desk.  She gives you “the eye” every time you walk by.  Well, for 65% of you, give it up.  You’re dreaming.  She isn’t doing those things, you are projecting, and you have just as much hope of hooking up with her as you do those chicks in Maxim (does anyone still read Maxim?  That magazine sucks).  I know it seems like she’s feeling you, but it is just in your head.  Can you look at yourself and say that you are honestly above a 7 on a scale of 1-10? (please use the UvT approved scale established by this august organization, HERE)  If not, if you actually try to act on this self-manufactured dream, you will get the bonus award of a sexual harassment suit accusation to go with it.  Remember, sexual harassment is some sort of unwelcome attention.  That means your ugly ass is unwelcome, ok?  The 6′2″ kid down the hallway that played college baseball, is actually in shape, and all the women in the office laugh at his jokes…he’s good.  You’re not.  Give it up.

Rule #2:  If you’re gonna do it, do it right.

First off, no actually getting it on in the office.  In fact, pretend as if you don’t know each other at work.  Don’t tell anyone you actually work with.  They will be way more excited about it than you.  That means they are going to talk about it way more than you.  Third, understand the fact that if you break up…one of you has to go.  Remember high school, when you broke up with someone and had to look at their ass in math everyday?  Or find out when they date someone new, and it isn’t you?  That sucks.  Now multiply that shit by 100 and that is what is going to be like at work.  Because your cash depends on it, straight up.  Your bitnah is officially mixed up with your pleasure.  Your stuff is all jacked up.

Rule #3 – Don’t fall for the “Work Wifey”

You know the work wifey right?  That chick where you first start kicking it in her office.  Talking about work, that concert you went to with your REAL wife.  Then you’re running down to the building store together, to go get afternoon snacks.  Then you are grabbing lunch because you are just good friends.  Then you are talking about that concert that your went to with her.…errrrrr…and a bunch of other co-workers, right?  Don’t do it.  I know you don’t have access to other women in real life, because in your real life, people know your wife.  So don’t try to “see if you still got it” in the office.  You are one Christmas Party away from pure destruction.  Before you know it, office wifey is telling you about how your woman works too much, and how they need to start helping you pick out ties.  Why not, they know you have a stable job, they know you’re the marrying type, what else is there.  Oh…and all your co-workers see it from a mile away.  Yeah…everyone knows.

There are plenty of women out there fellas.  Hell, if all else fails filter your Facebook contacts on “single” and born before March 18, 1979.  They’re looking, and they’re ready.

-Brock